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Why do women react poorly even when physically attractive & successful men "cold approach" them? Should men cold approach more or less? What is the current status of cold approach in our culture?

2020.09.19 23:56 No_Research3744 Why do women react poorly even when physically attractive & successful men "cold approach" them? Should men cold approach more or less? What is the current status of cold approach in our culture?

I was just reading a pair of threads in direct conflict.
One was by a >6' white guy who says he is in good shape and tries talking to women randomly IRL. He said they almost always react coldly and won't reciprocate conversation. Unlike, he said if he talks to a random guy for example who will talk back. There is another guy who has made similar threads, posted his pics, and been called "hot", gets loads of matches online, yet says women simply won't talk back if he tries opening them IRL. He finds it frustrating and says everyone else will talk IRL but not women his age.
The other thread was by an Asian girl who said she is fit and medium attractiveness but wondering if she's ugly because "guys don't talk hit on her IRL." She wished men would. Several female posters also lamented in their replies that guys don't hit on them either and how "women don't have as many options as guys think."
So what exactly is going on here?
When I used to do cold approach, eg. in bars/clubs/malls the most common outcomes were: One word answers, their friend pulls them away, they pretend they can't hear me, they look annoyed, they say "I have a boyfriend" in the first few seconds/minutes. Only very rarely I'd get a positive reaction. So I'd have to do a lot of volume to benefit.
In some countries like the UK, cold approaching can now land you in jail as "harassment" if you do it to too many people. It's hard to get a read on how people feel about it given so many conflicting messages. It can be awkward and takes balls, but on the other hand, it's the ultimate "fuck you" to dating app culture where someone must "swipe right" on you before you can even speak.
What do you think about cold approach or what all this means?
submitted by No_Research3744 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 23:30 TheBusted A Proper Bulbing

Not mine, but this is another one of my all-time favorite stories.

Hi, my name is Alana. I'm 27, with long, brown hair, 5'7", and a perfect body, thanks to the two hours I spend daily at the exclusive gym down the street from my luxury condo. I've been told by about a million different males, as well as several girlfriends that I have a face to die for. Can you blame me for being confident?
It's easy to stay beautiful when you're in my line of "work." If I was asked to list my job title, I think I'd call myself a Professional Man-ipulator. It's an extremely cushy, well-paying "job" that requires minimal effort and gives me plenty of free time to travel, go shopping, but most importantly tend to my personal grooming. Between the gym and all the skin products I'm able to afford, it's easy staying beautiful.
How did I fall into this profession? It wasn't until my early 20s that I discovered the joys of Female Domination. For a long time, I worked as a waitress. It was a nice restaurant and I wasn’t making a bad living, but I felt unfulfilled. Now those feelings of emptiness at the end of a long day are gone. I’ve found my true calling: the humiliation of the male gender. Not all males, mind you. I'm talking about perverted, penis-driven retards also known as "Compulsive Jackoffs," or, my personal favorite, "Walking ATMs."
There is a lot of machine ATMs world today. But for me, there are literally billions. That's because I can make most men do whatever I want whenever I want. Put it this way -- I get dozens of emails from male wimps every day, most of whom I ignore since I don't have time. This leaves me free to focus on the jerkoffs with the fattest wallets (at least until I am done pressing a few of their "buttons" and transferring their $ to my fat bank account -- it's the only thing fat about me).
Here's the way it works: These males work their shitty 9 to 5 jobs. Then they willingly give their money to me. Or, I take it from them. Whichever you prefer.
So you're probably wondering why I have titled this story "A Proper Bulbing." Well, it has to do with scrotums. And when it comes to scrotums, I guess you could say I have a hate/love relationship.
Why do I hate scrotums so much? Scrotums are responsible for many of the world's ills. I'm totally convinced the world would be a much, MUCH better place if men's scrotums were put totally under the control of Women. Any men who still displayed violent tendencies would have their scrotums disciplined with blunt force, or a simple electrical shock, for those ladies who'd rather not touch. Imagine how many fewer wars and how much less violence there would be. But this isn't the only reason I hate scrotums. Imagine having that silly, wrinkled flap of junk hanging off your body! I detest looking at regular scrotums. However, that last sentence deserves an asterisk. That's because I very much enjoy looking at scrotums that have been "treated" properly. What do I mean by that? U shall see.
Why do I love scrotums so much? Because scrotums are part of what makes it so incredibly, amazingly, magically EAZY to control males! That and their stupid penises, of course! It’s a great comfort knowing that all men have these monstrosities sitting between their legs, causing them to do the stupidest, most retarded things imaginable. And knowing that I can control males through their scrotums (and penises) by doing absolutely NOTHING, other than being myself, is the greatest thing about life. It's like God (who is obviously female) decided to give Women the ultimate gift -- a way of dominating the weaker gender by her mere presence. I think about this all the time -- when I'm working out and men are gawking at my spandex-clad body, when I'm walking down the street in my expensive new shoes and a skirt, and of course when I'm totally humiliating the living shit out of males on the internet and raping their bank accounts.
But the "love" is not only about that. Remember I said that I love looking at scrotums when they've been "treated" a certain way? Well, that gets to one of my favorite activity involving men: ballbusting. For me and my girlfriends, kicking scrotum is the most liberating activity in the world. Every girl needs to try it.
For you men out there reading this and feeling yourself weaken -- I have a standard rate for males on my website: $500 and I will come and kick your scrotum with my expensive shoes until you beg for mercy, and your scrotum is inflated to the size of a baseball. In other words, by paying the $500, men agree to submit their scrotums for a brutal kicking that will result in terrible, excessive swelling, or, as I like to call it, "bulbing." I try not to pop their balls, because I'm not psycho or anything (but no promises), which means my goal is to inflict as much damage as humanly possible without rupture.
I should also add that by paying the $500, the male agrees to submit to a clothed-female nude-male photograph session. The photos always take place at the end of the scrotum punishment. I insist upon full-body, fully nude male photos, because I love the look of his face when I've finished um, annihilating (yes, that’s not too strong a word) his genitals. And of course I insist upon a close-up of the scrotum itself. It's so much more pleasing to the eye when it's a deep, enduring red/purple color and swollen to the point where the guy probably won't be able to walk for several days. I love it! Once I have the photographs, it means I basically own the guy. I don't show a photo of his face on my website (unless he pisses me off, or unless he gives his consent), but all the close-ups are on my website. All 476 (and counting) of them. 476 bulbs. Tee hee!
$500 sounds like a lot of money for a male to pay for what is essentially his own destruction, but you wouldn’t believe how popular my service is. Since I started my scrotum enlargement program two years ago, I have "processed" 476 scrotums. That's $238,000 for the mathematically challenged amongst you. And that's only part of the revenue I've been generating. Pretty soon I'll have bulbed 500 scrotums! I think I'm going to invite my girlfriends over for #500. Imagine that. Males willingly pay me to mangle their groins. Isn't life wonderful? Talk about absolute power.
This gets me to the story that I want to share with you. It's about a male that I own. I'm particularly proud of this one. Let me explain.
As I mentioned, prior to becoming a Man-ipulator, I was a waitress at a good restaurant in a posh part of down. I made a decent living, but the hours were shitty and I had to put up with Keith. Ah, Keith [snicker].
Keith was, and still is, the floor supervisor at my restaurant. In other words, back when I waited tables, he was my boss. Now, as you will soon see, I'm his boss. Keith is a tall, balding male in his early 30s who used to act as if he was the shit. All the waitresses couldn't stand him. There were several reasons for this: One, he was a total stickler for punctuality. If you were a minute late, you'd be docked two hours pay. Two, any time there was any issue with a customer -- no matter how big a douche bag the customer was -- he would side with the customer and give the wait staff an earful. Three, he made insulting comments to all the waitresses and he often would grope us in ways that made us uncomfortable. Me and my friend, Trina Lin, who also quit and is also now a Man-iupulator, used to get furious about it. We even considered telling the chef and owner, but we realized that d-bag wouldn't do anything about it. So why bother?
Around two and a half years ago, I stumbled upon some Female Domination sites on the Internet. I'm a voracious reader and what I discovered really fascinated me. I knew some Women out there controlled their men but I never realized the extent of the fetish. I shared my findings with Trina and we began experimenting on the side. In absolutely no time, we both had several male clients and we were raking in the dough. Six months after that, we both surprised the fuck out of Keith by quitting on a busy Saturday. We both showed up to work and put on our waitress outfits. Then, just as the first diners were getting seated, we walked up to Keith, handed him our aprons, flipped him the bird and walked out of there. It was awesome! The look on his face was priceless. As we walked out, he shouted, "You'll never work in this town again." We just turned to each other and laughed.
After that, I quickly forgot about Keith as my new career took off. The next couple of years went by. My income skyrocketed and I "work" like, maybe ten hours per week. But can you even really call it work if you're doing what you love to do? I guess it is work in the sense that I have to sort through a million stupid emails from retarded men and make sure I don't cross paths with a dangerous dude. For that reason, I have a bodyguard. I don't pay him anything, since I own his ass. But he's a big, physically powerful guy who worships the ground I walk on and lives right around the corner. Any time I'm doing a session with a new client, he sits in my guest room, ready to pounce if a Walking ATM gives me any trouble. It's nice to know he's there, and he's thrilled to serve me in any way he can.
A few months ago, as I was sorting through all the loser mail I get, one of them stood out. It was the name of my ex-boss and there was an attachment. My heart skipped a beat. Keith?! What did this idiot want? Well, I opened the email and began laughing. Then I spoke with Trina on the telephone and we laughed together for another hour straight. I saved his email. Here it is:
Dear Miss Alana,
It's Keith, your ex-boss. I have been debating whether or not I should send this email but you are so irresistible that I can't help but do it. Let me explain. I know I wasn't very nice to you when you worked at (name of restaurant). And I want to apologize to you deeply and sincerely for that. As it so happens, I'm deeply submissive and a few months ago I stumbled upon your website. I couldn't believe it. The amazingly beautiful Alana, a lifestyle Dominatrix! I was shocked, amazed, and more than a little turned on.
Yes, you guessed it. I'm a totally submissive, pussy-whipped, masturbator.
I can't believe I'm going to send this. Alana, ma’am, I need to be punished for the way I treated you. Nothing would be more fitting, I think, than for me to enroll in your Jacktard 101 class, where I'll surely be taught a lesson that I'll never forget. I think this would be fitting revenge for you, for all the times I treated you poorly.
Miss Alana, I'm so sorry again. The truth is that all those times I was bothering you, I secretly fantasized about you humiliating me. I can't tell you how many times I jacked off while imagining myself debasing myself at your feet, and doing stupid things for your entertainment. The day you and Trina quit, while a nightmare at work, was secretly one of my favorite days. I masturbated myself for weeks on end when I thought of the way you flipped me the bird. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Imagine my total delight and amazement when I discovered your website. This is the stuff dreams are made of.
To show you my sincerity, I have attached a photograph of me. Please tuck it away and use it against me. As I said, I intend to enroll in your Jacktard 101 program with your permission.
Humbly yours,Keith
I opened the photo attachment he sent me. Keith was naked, spread-legged, facing the camera. He held his little (of course) penis in his fingers and had this retarded look on his face. HA HA HA! The best part was his organs themselves. For such a large male, Keith had a pathetic pin-dick, but his scrotum was huge! They made his pin-dick look even smaller than it actually was -- no small feat. I especially love racking big scrotums. It’s like a fun challenge to see how big I can make them. Sometimes I can inflate them to the size of a softball.
I think I stared at the naked photograph for a good five minutes, the smile on my face growing wider and wider. I must have laughed for an hour straight. This was to be my greatest conquest yet.
You're probably wondering what the Jacktard 101 program is, so let me explain. The Jacktard 101 program was a rather ingenious lesson plan I came up with for all those compulsive jacktards out there to jerk off properly and worship me in a way that I like to be worshipped.
Here's how it works: By enrolling in my Jacktard 101 program, the penis pumping puppet agrees to pump his penis (say that ten times fast!) at least once every single day (I know, piece o cake, right?) for 101 consecutive days. For you monkey-spankers out there, it probably sounds like a dream. But there's a catch. In order to "graduate," my students commit to gobbling up their manchowder after every single ejaculation. Can you even imagine? 101 dirty cumloads festering inside the belly of each and every loser that enrolls in the program. It took me approximately 19 minutes to film the Jacktard 101 video and I've sold over 2,000 of them. There are other built in rules in my program. I demand that all my students stare at a photo of me on my website while they jerk it. It's just a simple photo of me in classy, feminine attire staring right at the camera lens. This way, I'm conditioning their brains so they worship me and send me extra tribute.
It's been a remarkably successful program for me, as well as the losers who pay to humiliate themselves. Successful for me because I'm getting rich. Successful for the losers because they get to serve a higher power and humiliate themselves, while pleasuring their stupid penises. According to my calculations, if a dude eats 101 of his own pathetic cumloads he's effectively eaten a gallon of his own jizz! Ha ha. Can you even imagine? If that isn't the complete definition of LOSER, I don't know what is. Jerk your own pathetic penis, and EAT all your slimy splooge -- a gallon of it. If that isn't enough, I make them thank me after they're finished guzzling. "Thanks for the lesson, Miss Alana," they all say.
There's one final segment to my program. Once the loser completes the program, he can download a certificate from my website, which says, "I successfully completed Miss Alana's Jacktard 101 program. I'm a certified cum-eating loser." Ha! Then they email me a photo of themselves holding the certificate with load # 101 festering on their tongues. Now that's total ownership.
That gets me back to Keith. Once I got finished reading his email, and laughing, I threw on my spandex and went to the gym. As I bounced up and down on the Stairmaster, I wondered how I could ensure that Keith suffered the most abject, demoralizing humiliation ever inflicted upon a male. No easy task, right? There are a lot of smart girls out there who have severely exploited males. Millions of women across the world humiliate millions of men every single day. But I know I'm good at this and I was up to the task. I couldn't stop smiling during my workout once I figured out what I was going to do to the complete jackass that made my life a living hell for three years.
After getting home, showering and slipping into shorts and a t-shirt, I sat in front of the computer and constructed an email:
Dear Keith the LOSER,
Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Why am I not surprised to discover you’re an ashamed, closeted, penis jacking pervert?
I will admit you as a student in my Jacktard 101 program under the following added probationary conditions. Because of our history, I'm going to have to insist that you agree to a few additional up front rules. I believe this added structure is necessary to your development as a true worshipping disciple of mine. So, here are my added rules:
  1. Each day, before two in the afternoon, you are to film yourself masturbating and email the film to me. But I don't have the time to watch the whole retarded penis-jacking ritual and I don't want your emails jamming my computer. Therefore you are to send me only 30 seconds of edited footage. The 30 seconds will begin with you introducing yourself as Keith The Loser, then a quick snippet of your pathetic ejaculation, then you EATING YOUR CUM, and thanking me PROFUSELY for teaching you another lesson.
  2. Each day you are to deposit $10 to my pay pal account. If I'm dissatisfied with your video (AND I WILL WATCH EVERY VIDEO), I will increase the payment to $100 on that day.
  3. Any failure to follow my instructions will result in me shutting you off for good. There will be no second chances. You should also know that if I sense any lack of respect, the folks at (my old restaurant) might be getting some new movies in the mail.
Your agreement to My terms will be in the form of a video, sent to Me tomorrow by 2 PM, as well as an initial deposit of $100 (first ten days) to My account.
-Miss Alana
The next day, like clockwork, Keith’s first video came in, I immediately forwarded it to Trina and we watched it while talking on the phone. Both of us couldn't stop laughing. Keith stood there with his legs spread, his crotch sticking out, pumping his spunk into a tissue. The whole time his tongue was hanging out and he was grunting like a freak. He looked right at the camera and gobbled the whole mess down. Then he got on his knees and put his hands up in prayer and started thanking me like a boss who spared his job. What a total triumph! We had oodles of fun watching him make a total jackass of himself for the first week or so. After that, he got boring, so I didn't watch for a while, but one day I checked a few videos to make sure he was in compliance. His "loser-tax" tributes continued to fill my bank account. Of all the losers that send me tribute, I think I've had to do less "work" for Keith than any of them. In light of our history, it's fitting, don't you think? A convenient transfer of wealth from male to Female, from retard to Goddess. It's a unique form of Darwinism.
For load #101, I decided to make a house call. Because of our history, Keith was obviously a special case. This was more than just some random jackass who wanted to be humiliated; this was personal. In light of that, I wanted to have an intimate one-on-one moment with Keith where I could cement my dominance over him in memorable fashion. For that reason, I though the best place to truly embarrass him and hammer home my superiority was in his "private" sanctuary, a.k.a. his bedroom, the site of so many self-administered personal relief massages. By invading his home and shaming him in the way I had selected, it would show him that his body and his life, not to mention his dignity, no longer belonged to him. It belonged to me.
After arranging to visit his condo on a Friday afternoon, I instructed him in an email to leave his front door unlocked and lie on his bed, naked. He was to have tissues and hand lotion in bed with him and he was to masturbate himself to the brink of orgasm. I instructed him to groan continuously so I'd have no trouble finding his bedroom when I arrived. As a final touch, I told him I wanted his legs spread and up in the air and the middle finger of his non-jacking hand to be wedged up his anus. Just so there would be no shenanigans, I told him that people knew of my whereabouts and if he was anything less than ultra-obedient, the tapes of him masturbating would be circulated everywhere.
I dressed in simple attire, jeans, a blouse, booties and a full length jacket. I didn't intend to be there for more than 15 minutes. This wasn’t the first time I arranged to walk in on a masturbating loser. I absolutely love to do it. Another technique of mine is to arrive late, so the male is forced to get all pent up and bothered while I take my sweet time and arrive at my leisure.
When I arrived, I took a moment to take my jacket off and check myself in the mirror. I could hear the shameful monkey-spank groans coming from down the hall, so without further delay I headed straight to the source of the perverted groaning sound, an anticipatory smile on my face. I pushed open the door to his bedroom and there was Keith in all his "glory," legs spread and elevated, finger stuck retardedly up his own ass, pumping his penis and groaning. The tissues and lube were next to him on the bed.
"Oh I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" I said, conjuring up my most condescending, feminine voice.
Keith's face turned so red. It's always more satisfying when they get really embarrassed. And in Keith’s case, it was with good reason that he was embarrassed. But I wanted to make sure he experienced some real shame. I sat down on the bed next to him and slid my hand beneath his chin, so he had no choice but to face me.
"You should see yourself," I began. "What a disgusting pervert you are! You do realize you've paid me a thousand dollars to feed on your own filthy sperm, right? And now look at you!" I released his chin and slapped him like a pimp slapping his bitch. His face became the picture of shame -- eyes cast downward, cheeks redder than ever. That's what I wanted. “Absolutely pathetic,” I added.
I'm not in the business of giving males what they want. I'm in the business of giving males what they need. I knew Keith wanted me to watch him masturbate and consume his own ejaculate. He wanted a female audience to fulfill his fantasy. I had something else in mind.
"Okay, I can't stay. I'm meeting a couple of friends at the mall," I lied. "Toss your legs up over your head, so your penis is pointing down at your stupid face."
Once he obeyed, I reached into my handbag and took out his certificate. I flipped it casually in the air and made for the door. "I have no intentions of watching you splooge all over your face. I'm going to go buy a few pairs of designer shoes with your money. Then, tomorrow I'm going to splatter your balls with them. Happy jerking, loser! If you jerk really quickly, I might hear your groans before I leave."
I could hear him grunting as I left the apartment. He obviously wanted me to hear him pleasuring himself. I’m quite sure he gave himself a faggot facial while I was riding the elevator downstairs. But what the fuck do I care? I had exploited him the way I wanted to exploit him and now it was time to go shopping.
Later, when I got home, I wrote him an email:
Dear Keith the LOSER,
Tomorrow (Saturday) is officially "Punishment Day" for you. It's the day I intend to pay you back in full for your childish and unacceptable behavior from the days when I worked at (name of restaurant). As I'm sure you know from your deep infatuation with Me, I specialize in Ballbusting. I assume you have had a chance to review the 100s of pictures of Bulbs on my website. You can expect your scrotum to take on a similar appearance. Make sure you shave your pubes THOROUGHLY the morning before you arrive. I want it smooth. And dipshit, I have to warn you that I'll take absolutely no prisoners. I'm going to knock your stupid nutsack (and the nuts inside your stupid nutsack) into next week. Very few things in life give me more pleasure. The fact that we have a history will only enhance my feeling of determination and my ultimate joy when I do what NEEDS to be done.
Of course you know you will pay me $500 for this necessary attitude adjustment, which you yourself admitted that you so desperately need. When you arrive, I'll lead you into a room, where you are to strip naked and bring your wallet with $500 in it. I'll be waiting in my kitchen. You are to enter, kneel and open your wallet so that I can ceremoniously rape it.
I expect you to arrive at noon. Do not be late.
-Miss Alana
For all you jerkoffs (and Females) unfamiliar with my practices, let me explain in clinical terms what it means to properly "bulb" a male. When a male suffers trauma to his scrotum, the testicles inevitably swell. As they swell, eventually they force the skin from the scrotum to stretch in such a way that the skin will accommodate the damaged nuts. A properly "bulbed" scrotum takes on a highly comic appearance. For one, it's quite large in size, since testicles tend to swell quite dramatically when punished with the blunt force of Female Footwear. Two, the skin takes on an ultra smooth appearance. This is because, as the gonads undergo trauma, the skin has no choice but to stretch to accommodate them. The result is sort of like what a facelift does to wrinkled skin. Not only that, but a properly bulbed scrotum tends to become almost perfectly circular in appearance. What a wonderful symmetry, and proof that scrotums were meant to be this way. And lastly, the bulb also turns wonderful shades of pink, red, blue, and my personal favorite, purple.
I have a high quality digital SLR camera, and after a successful bulbing, I make sure to take dozens of photographs. Then, I'll analyze the photographs and come up with my favorite one. The photograph is then labeled and archived with the male's name, age, and the date the bulbing took place. My photographs always include a totally flaccid penis in them. There are several reasons for this: One, I find the full image, penis included, very pleasing to the eye. Two, the docile penis offers wonderful perspective on the extent of the damage that was inflicted upon the scrotum. Three, it makes for a highly humiliating image that the bulbed male can always look as a reminder that he was put in his place by the superior gender. I want him to know that he is the victim of Female Power. And when I'm finished with them, they know it.
Prior to Keith's arrival, I had Trina, Lynn and Leslie come over. They're my closest gal pals and all intricately familiar with male humiliation. I had them sit quietly in my kitchen while I answered the front door. Keith looked so embarrassed and this was even before he realized he would have an audience. Without saying a word, I stared him down. "Are you ready for more humiliation?"
"Yes ma'am," he looked almost crestfallen.
"Look me in the eye when I address you!" I gave him three crisp bitch-slaps. "Oh, don't you worry. I'm going to humiliate you alright," I said, before leading him to the room where he was to remove his clothing (and what little dignity he had left). I couldn't help but snicker as he disrobed. He had a little erection and his balls hung there, oblivious to me, their executioner.
Fittingly, I wore all black -- a tight black skirt, a black top, black stockings and black high heels. Trina, who is Asian, looked gorgeous in a white dress with these really cool white leather square-toed boots. The other ladies looked quite lovely as well.
You should have seen Keith's eyes pop out of his head when he walked butt-naked into my kitchen and found himself face-to-face with four clothed Females. He was totally mortified.
Lynn has this great video camera that takes both video and high quality photographs simultaneously. She captured Keith's priceless reaction when he realized his humiliation was going to be much more public than he imagined. The girls all laughed as he stood there stunned. He mumbled something about this not being what he expected.
"Get your naked ass over here and present your wallet to me," I said matter-of-factly.
After I raped Keith's wallet of $500 of his hard-earned money, I made him kneel before us and admit what a compulsive masturbating jackass he truly was. "We've all seen the videos," Lynn added, as his face turned bright red just as it had the day before. We all called him a loser (I have always found that word to be particularly fitting and effective), jackass, compulsive dick-spanking retard, lots of mocking laughter, you get the idea.
Once that was taken care of, it was time to get down to the bulbing. I couldn't wait. All dominant women love to bust nuts. It's just that me and my gal pals take it to another level.
"Time to get underway," I said.
First I had him stand up, legs spread. I told him to present his balls to me and beg me to teach him a lesson. This is a must. It shows the male knows his place and is ready to accept his punishment. It also adds a ceremonial element to the proceedings, which I think is a necessary formalization of a process.
"Mess him up, Alana," said Trina.
I used a chair to brace myself and carefully measured my target, pressing the tip of my pump into Keith's groin.
THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!
In the early stages of a bulbing, it's important to get a lot of kicks in, but the kicks can't be too hard. You want the male to remain on his feet. I used the bridge of my foot, which does a good job of causing blunt trauma without any real risk of rupture. The goal is to get good coverage and make sure both testicles begin the initial swelling process. After each ten kicks, Keith was made to thank me, as well as the other women in attendance. I kicked him maybe a hundred times this way. For the final flurry of kicks, I upped the ante, really snapping my foot with extra force. The second to last kick was enough to put him on the floor, but before he went down I nailed him with a really super kick. This one took some skill because he was falling away. I had to shuffle my feet forward and change my angle. All my work at the gym really paid off, as it made an especially loud thud and sent his genitals flying. Lynn captured the moment perfectly, getting a great shot of his penis pointing straight to the ceiling as my foot battered his nuts. When one analyzes ballbusting photographs, it’s amazing the way the nuts contort during an assault. Keith's knees slammed together and his hands came down between his legs in protective (too late) mode. I love watching when they do that. The Women all cheered.
We were off to a good start.
I circled him as he struggled to get his bearings and (I assume) deal with the pain in his stomach. We could see he was already red down there. "Now I want you to get on all fours and face the Women. I'm going to kick you from behind."
I really love kicking scrotum from behind. I admit it gives me a thrill to see that naked ass crack just staring up at me, legs spread like a dog in heat, silly, dangling soon-to-be-bulb, waiting for additional punishment. It gives me a chance to show them how uncivilized they really are. I also love the imagery of my shoe wedged between their ass, as I rock their world. Because it echoes off the floor, each kick makes this nice snapping noise.
SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!
Keith was starting to suffer now. I could see him try to cheat his punishment by sliding his knees slowly together and lowering his ass. "Keep your fucking legs spread, ass up!" I warned him, before launching another good ten snappers. I put my hips into the last kick and his ass bounced up into the air. He fell on his side and groaned.
Now we were getting somewhere.
His legs were fastened together and his hands were wedged into his groin, doing their best to protect his prized possessions. It was pure male instinct. I’d seen it hundreds of times. I knelt down and reached between his legs, gently pushing away his hands, which gave way without too much of a fight. Once I had snaked my hand in there and secured his ever-expanding scrotum, I gave it a firm squeeze and ordered him onto his back. “Spread your legs nice and wide, loser, so we all have a nice view. It’s inspection time.”
After he realized he had no choice but to comply, I began properly inspecting his scrotum, pulling and pinching at the skin. I love the process of “damage inspection” during a bulbing because, by the time I check, the scrotum is usually highly sensitive and a simple pinch can result in pain. Keith kept wincing and writhing on the floor. But he kept his legs apart like a good, obedient male should. It was clear I had unencumbered access to Keith’s most prized possessions. And I had his respect.
I made sure to stand to one side of Keith so that the other ladies had a nice view of him lying there, genitals lewdly on display. His scrotum had turned a nice pink color and was starting to stretch, but we had a long way to go. After tugging and pinching longer than was necessary, I leaned forward and looked deep into his eyes. "We're not even close to halfway done. Get back into position," I said. Trina laughed.
Once he was back in position, I stood and let him know what I thought about him covering up. "Each time you sprawl on my kitchen floor and grab your dirty organs, it makes me want to kick you even harder," I said. "You know this is what you wanted and we all know it's what you need. So stay PUT-" SNAP....SNAP....SNAP. I began putting my hips into each kick. Now every time I kicked him, Keith's ass bounced pleasingly in the air, but knowing my warning, he gritted his teeth and got back into position.
SNAP!!!
He was really bouncing up with each kick now. Lynn let out a groan of satisfaction. All of us lifestyle dominatrixes love taking part in a good bulbing. Everything about it is so enjoyable. It's a total display of vaginal power. And we all love watching that male ass bounce in the air.
SNAP!!!
This time I squealed with pleasure. Keith's sack was now a bigger target and I could feel all that mushy flesh really yield as my foot smashed into it. Keith let out his first real scream and began rolling around my kitchen floor.
I kneeled down and again secured him by the balls. Once he had obeyed my unspoken command by lying on his back and spreading his legs, we all studied his exposed groin. "Looks better, Alana," said Leslie, in that detached, lispy voice of hers. "Progress is being made." Leslie was such a snob.
Determined to make an example of Keith, I conjured up my strictest most no-nonsense tone:
"Get back on your hands and knees. This time I want your ass way up in the air."
SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!! Three more good hard kicks. Keith slumped over.
"Get up."
SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!!!!!
"Uhhhhhhh!" I added.
SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP SNAP SNAP!
I kicked with controlled fury. No sense in rushing the job. Plus, more kicks usually equate to a rounder, firmer bulb. It's important to be thorough and make sure every single cell of testicle ends up swollen.
Again I kneeled down and checked. Keith's scrotum was beginning to resemble a bulb, but it was still too loose for my liking. His nuts had more room to swell. An appropriately bulbed scrotum should cause the male constant pain, because the testicles eventually push against each other as they run out of room. "What do you think, Ladies?" I asked, knowing full well the answer.
"Not there yet," said Leslie.
"Nicely swollen, but not yet an official bulb," added Lynn. “We want those nuts pushing up against each other in his sack so he’s in perpetual pain.” It was as though the girl could read my mind.
“Yes dear, I know what it means to bulb a male,” I said.
I pulled a chair between Keith’s legs so I could be comfortable. A Woman can't really kick with the bridge of her foot from this position. It’s important to have square-toed shoes with some depth. Fortunately I had my square-toed red shoes at the ready, for just this purpose. Trina handed them to me.
I made him sit up and put my shoes on my feet (an honor) before returning him to the floor. I pressed my shoe up against his sack. Keith's scrotum had grown almost to the size of a baseball now, but it was clear more work was needed to increase his swelling and get the skin suitably tight. I held my shoe against his ball bag and spoke evenly.
"This is the nastiest part of a bulbing. Don’t you think, ladies?”
"Especially for him," quipped Trina.
submitted by TheBusted to BallbustingStories [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 09:04 JackWangPistachios 100 cold approaches: What I've learned

Following up from my 85 cold approaches post I finally hit a 100 approaches and as requested by magicalbird I set out my 100-approach results and what I've learned from these 100 approaches. As with before I was inspired by Chris Deoudes'/GoodLookingLoser's 100 approach experiment.
I'm not going to talk as much about results (other than in the Appendix, sort of to set out that I know what I'm talking about), especially because results are highly dependent on your location, what type of girls you're targeting, your looks, your overall attractiveness, etc - this post is going to be about what I've learned and hopefully these are applicable to anyone thinking of doing cold approaches too.
  1. Cold approaches are much less efficient than online dating but is also way more freeing, fun, and more importantly it makes you feel like a man. Cold approach gives you immense abundance mentality, moreso than online dating.
Online dating is easy and efficient, way more so than cold approach. No doubts.
But cold approach is different. I can confidently say that I feel like I've grown more from the past 3 months of cold approach than I have from the last 6 years of Tinder.
Tinder is inherently reactive. You can only talk to girls who match you, you can only meet up with girls who respond to your messages. If you don't get any matches over a few days you might fret - oh no, how am I supposed to get laid now? With Tinder, you can only talk to as many hot girls who are your type as they match you. Reactive.
But cold approaching is proactive, just like a man should be. Men approach. You're going out and proactively seeking girls. If you do 100 approaches right now you will more likely than not get at least one date. With Tinder you're limited by how many girls are swiping right on you. With cold approach you can talk to as many hot girls who are your type as you see (I bet that you'll see at least one hot girl who's your type a day as you go about your day) - you're only limited by your balls. Proactive.
Tinder gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you're on the app for 2 months you'll likely get laid. While cold approach gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you do 500 approaches you'll likely get laid.
Of course practically Tinder you're still getting way more matches but do you see how psychologically cold approach is way more freeing?
Before I started cold approaching I'd see hot girls on the street and I wouldn't know how to approach. Of course I'd go back home and swipe Tinder out of frustration (and Tinder has treated me very well I'd fucked around 1 new girl a month for the last 6 years) but it'd still feel like something was missing from my life because I wasn't able to approach those random hot girls I saw on the street.
Now that I more or less have the "technique" of cold approach down I can confidently say that I no longer feel like anything's missing from my sex life (well, maybe night game...when bars/clubs open again).
  1. It's way easier to approach the girls that you find sexy - let your penis guide you
When I first started doing this I would go out and just do daygame "sets" to force myself past approach anxiety. I would find that it would be a struggle sometimes because I'd walk past 100 girls and I wouldn't feel the urge to approach any of them. But then one girl who is my type (tanned, slutty looking, athletic) would walk past and I would jog over from across the street just to approach them. It'd be super easy, I'd barely have approach anxiety.
The point is, your penis knows what type of girls you instinctually find hot, and it will literally guide you to talk to the girls you want to fuck.
If you're struggling to approach, it might just be that you're forcing yourself to approach girls that you don't find hot. Listen to your penis.
  1. If you do this enough you get a little dose of adrenaline in your body when your body knows that you could've approached but you pussied out - you don't get that dose of adrenaline if the circumstances aren't right
Starting at around approach 30-40, my body started giving me this weird adrenaline boost/sinking feeling in myself if I ever came across a girl I found sexy and the circumstances were right (ie it didn't violate any of my rules for approaching while preserving my reputation), but I pussied out. I think it was my body's way of telling me that I was a coward and urging me to approach.
Funnily enough, I never got that feeling if I didn't approach but the girl wasn't sexy or if the circumstances weren't right.
Listen to your body.
  1. It's all a numbers game.
Self explanatory. Most girls are not sexually available. Some might not find you attractive, maybe they hate Asian men, maybe they just don't like your style. But keep approaching and you'll eventually get laid (assuming you're socially normal and you look decent).
A memorable stretch was when I did a ton of approaches on a certain day, with really bad results...I was so close to giving up, then I thought to myself "just one more", and I got a makeout within 15 minutes on the last approach of the day.
You'll come across random stretches where it seems like every girl hates you...but you'll also come across stretches where every girl thinks you're hot. Life is random, embrace it.
  1. GoodLookingLoser's "handshake screening" method is effective but I would tread carefully because of #MeToo
For those who don't know the handshake screening method is this: when you shake their hand hold on to their hand for a bit longer than socially acceptable, if they keep holding on with you then they're almost certainly DTF or at least attracted to you. I think with all of my bangs, the girls had held onto my hand for at leasta few seconds longer than socially normal.
The classic GLL method is to hold on to their hand for as long as possible - girls who like you will genuinely let you hold onto their hand for minutes. However, this may or may not constitute assault, I don't know, so I would instead just hold onto their hand for 1-2 seconds longer than socially acceptable (of course, drop their hand immediately if they pull it away).
An ancillary point is something that all guys with high notch counts know - if a girl finds you hot she'll be very okay with you touching her.
  1. Phone numbers don't mean anything; IGs can get you dates/bangs
I think only something like 30% of the girls from whom I got a number actually went on a date with me.
2 of my 3 bangs were from where girls gave me their IG instead of their number.
  1. The most efficient way of doing cold approach is to just approach hot girls you see as you go about your day
Going out to do daygame "sarging" is an extremely inefficient and also demoralizing way of doing approaches because you're not getting anything done and also because if you go out to do "sarging" and you don't any results you'll be really sad (since happiness = results minus expectations).
The way that cold approach should fit inside your life is how you would imagine a cool/hot guy would do it - go about your day, and if you see a girl you like just go and talk to her. Will you look at that, GLL has a post about this already (...except i can't find it, so here's a video from GLL disciple MorePlatesMoreDates on the same subject).
  1. Where you hang about matters a lot in terms of how many hot girls there are - go where hot girls hang out
Sounds kind of contradictory to the above but the area where you are will vary dramatically in terms of how many hot girls there are. To take an extreme example in NYC if you're in an area that's mostly families or old people you could go hours without seeing any hot girls...but if you're at a mall where lots of college kids hang out then you're going to have so many choices.
I wouldn't go out of my way to go to malls just to "sarge" but I would do things like go to the mall to eat if I had a choice between two similar restaurants and the other restaurant was located in an area which was all old people. Little things that add maybe 10 minutes (or less) to your day but which give you dramatically more hot girls to approach.
Appendix 1: Final results.
100 approaches
37 numbers
10 dates (2 more dates in the pipeline from these 100 approaches - we'll see whether I can convert these into bangs)
9 makeouts (very high IMO, much higher than I expected)
3 bangs (a bit higher than what I expected, before I started I thought that I would need 100 approaches in order to get 1 bang)
submitted by JackWangPistachios to aznidentity [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 08:56 JackWangPistachios 100 cold approaches: what I've learned

Following up from my 85 cold approaches post I finally hit a 100 approaches and as requested by magicalbird I set out my 100-approach results and what I've learned from these 100 approaches. As with before I was inspired by Chris Deoudes'/GoodLookingLoser's 100 approach experiment.
I'm not going to talk as much about results (other than in the Appendix, sort of to set out that I know what I'm talking about), especially because results are highly dependent on your location, what type of girls you're targeting, your looks, your overall attractiveness, etc - this post is going to be about what I've learned and hopefully these are applicable to anyone thinking of doing cold approaches too.
  1. Cold approaches are much less efficient than online dating but is also way more freeing, fun, and more importantly it makes you feel like a man. Cold approach gives you immense abundance mentality, moreso than online dating.
Online dating is easy and efficient, way more so than cold approach. No doubts.
But cold approach is different. I can confidently say that I feel like I've grown more from the past 3 months of cold approach than I have from the last 6 years of Tinder.
Tinder is inherently reactive. You can only talk to girls who match you, you can only meet up with girls who respond to your messages. If you don't get any matches over a few days you might fret - oh no, how am I supposed to get laid now? With Tinder, you can only talk to as many hot girls who are your type as they match you. Reactive.
But cold approaching is proactive, just like a man should be. Men approach. You're going out and proactively seeking girls. If you do 100 approaches right now you will more likely than not get at least one date. With Tinder you're limited by how many girls are swiping right on you. With cold approach you can talk to as many hot girls who are your type as you see (I bet that you'll see at least one hot girl who's your type a day as you go about your day) - you're only limited by your balls. Proactive.
Tinder gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you're on the app for 2 months you'll likely get laid. While cold approach gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you do 500 approaches you'll likely get laid.
Of course practically Tinder you're still getting way more matches but do you see how psychologically cold approach is way more freeing?
Before I started cold approaching I'd see hot girls on the street and I wouldn't know how to approach. Of course I'd go back home and swipe Tinder out of frustration (and Tinder has treated me very well I'd fucked around 1 new girl a month for the last 6 years) but it'd still feel like something was missing from my life because I wasn't able to approach those random hot girls I saw on the street.
Now that I more or less have the "technique" of cold approach down I can confidently say that I no longer feel like anything's missing from my sex life (well, maybe night game...when bars/clubs open again).
  1. It's way easier to approach the girls that you find sexy - let your penis guide you
When I first started doing this I would go out and just do daygame "sets" to force myself past approach anxiety. I would find that it would be a struggle sometimes because I'd walk past 100 girls and I wouldn't feel the urge to approach any of them. But then one girl who is my type (tanned, slutty looking, athletic) would walk past and I would jog over from across the street just to approach them. It'd be super easy, I'd barely have approach anxiety.
The point is, your penis knows what type of girls you instinctually find hot, and it will literally guide you to talk to the girls you want to fuck.
If you're struggling to approach, it might just be that you're forcing yourself to approach girls that you don't find hot. Listen to your penis.
  1. If you do this enough you get a little dose of adrenaline in your body when your body knows that you could've approached but you pussied out - you don't get that dose of adrenaline if the circumstances aren't right
Starting at around approach 30-40, my body started giving me this weird adrenaline boost/sinking feeling in myself if I ever came across a girl I found sexy and the circumstances were right (ie it didn't violate any of my rules for approaching while preserving my reputation), but I pussied out. I think it was my body's way of telling me that I was a coward and urging me to approach.
Funnily enough, I never got that feeling if I didn't approach but the girl wasn't sexy or if the circumstances weren't right.
Listen to your body.
  1. It's all a numbers game.
Self explanatory. Most girls are not sexually available. Some might not find you attractive, maybe they hate Asian men, maybe they just don't like your style. But keep approaching and you'll eventually get laid (assuming you're socially normal and you look decent).
A memorable stretch was when I did a ton of approaches on a certain day, with really bad results...I was so close to giving up, then I thought to myself "just one more", and I got a makeout within 15 minutes on the last approach of the day.
You'll come across random stretches where it seems like every girl hates you...but you'll also come across stretches where every girl thinks you're hot. Life is random, embrace it.
  1. GoodLookingLoser's "handshake screening" method is effective but I would tread carefully because of #MeToo
For those who don't know the handshake screening method is this: when you shake their hand hold on to their hand for a bit longer than socially acceptable, if they keep holding on with you then they're almost certainly DTF or at least attracted to you. I think with all of my bangs, the girls had held onto my hand for at leasta few seconds longer than socially normal.
The classic GLL method is to hold on to their hand for as long as possible - girls who like you will genuinely let you hold onto their hand for minutes. However, this may or may not constitute assault, I don't know, so I would instead just hold onto their hand for 1-2 seconds longer than socially acceptable (of course, drop their hand immediately if they pull it away).
An ancillary point is something that all guys with high notch counts know - if a girl finds you hot she'll be very okay with you touching her.
  1. Phone numbers don't mean anything; IGs can get you dates/bangs
I think only something like 30% of the girls from whom I got a number actually went on a date with me.
2 of my 3 bangs were from where girls gave me their IG instead of their number.
  1. The most efficient way of doing cold approach is to just approach hot girls you see as you go about your day
Going out to do daygame "sarging" is an extremely inefficient and also demoralizing way of doing approaches because you're not getting anything done and also because if you go out to do "sarging" and you don't any results you'll be really sad (since happiness = results minus expectations).
The way that cold approach should fit inside your life is how you would imagine a cool/hot guy would do it - go about your day, and if you see a girl you like just go and talk to her. Will you look at that, GLL has a post about this already (...except i can't find it, so here's a video from GLL disciple MorePlatesMoreDates on the same subject).
  1. Where you hang about matters a lot in terms of how many hot girls there are - go where hot girls hang out
Sounds kind of contradictory to the above but the area where you are will vary dramatically in terms of how many hot girls there are. To take an extreme example in NYC if you're in an area that's mostly families or old people you could go hours without seeing any hot girls...but if you're at a mall where lots of college kids hang out then you're going to have so many choices.
I wouldn't go out of my way to go to malls just to "sarge" but I would do things like go to the mall to eat if I had a choice between two similar restaurants and the other restaurant was located in an area which was all old people. Little things that add maybe 10 minutes (or less) to your day but which give you dramatically more hot girls to approach.
Appendix 1: Final results.
100 approaches
37 numbers
10 dates (2 more dates in the pipeline from these 100 approaches - we'll see whether I can convert these into bangs)
9 makeouts (very high IMO, much higher than I expected)
3 bangs (a bit higher than what I expected, before I started I thought that I would need 100 approaches in order to get 1 bang)
submitted by JackWangPistachios to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]


2020.09.10 14:38 AlYlNG Asian Parents Rant

Sorry if I’m doing this wrong, but this is my first ever post on Reddit, so please forgive me if I mess something up. To start, I live in South East Asia and am currently being raised by Asian parents. I’m sure many of you know this, but corporal punishment is a widely accepted part of parenting in Asian culture. To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s considered abuse since it’s so commonplace here. As a child, my mother was very physically and emotionally abusive towards me. Also, I was heavily bullied in school, and my grades were affected because of my poor social life. I tried going to my parents for help about my social situation, but only got yelled at for being “bad at making friends.” To improve my terrible grades, my mom would sit next to me and have study sessions where I’d basically repeatedly drill through problems in exercise books over and over again. If I made a mistake, I’d get spanked by her hands, rulers, hangers, etc. She’d also pull at my ears and knock on my head really hard. Along with that, she’d say things like “I wish you weren’t my daughter,” or call me stupid and useless, with a myriad of other insults. One particular session I remember vividly involved a math problem. It was a question I didn’t know the answer to, and every time I got the answer wrong, I got spanked. I just kept repeating the same answer over an over again, because I didn’t know what to do. By the time my mother was exasperated enough with me to end the barrage, the affected area was swollen, red, and pulsing like I’d never felt before. Also, if I came back with bad test scores, or made her mad in general, I would have to do 200 squats and count them out loud, and if I ever became too quiet in my counting, she’d add 10 more to my total. The same punishments also applied should I have done poorly on my piano or ballet lessons, which was quite often. I became so scared of her punishments that I’d try to hide from her whenever she became mad. Of course, this wouldn’t work and I’d get in more trouble for trying to avoid it. My mother also gaslighted me many times, to the point where I didn’t really trust myself anymore, and got angry over the simplest things. For example, in elementary school, my teachers would make us write essays in composition books and we’d skip a page so that our teachers could leave comments and corrections on the blank pages. My mother got mad at me for skipping pages, and when I tried telling her that I was simply following orders, I got hit, because “composition books were expensive,” and she didn’t want to spend more money buying more than necessary. Also, she once got mad at me for walking behind her in a shopping mall and threatened to hit me when we returned home. Speaking of shopping malls, I once had a high fever while accompanying her during one of her excursions, and when I cried because my body was aching so much, my mom made fun of me for being weak and sick. Due to my poor school and home life, I started to contemplate suicide for a bit, and made the mistake of voicing this to my mom. As expected, I got scolded and lectured for thinking such “stupid thoughts” because I had such a “good life and and so much to live for.” My family also had a pet dog that my older sister got as a reward for doing well on her SPM test (think of it as the equivalent of the SAT). As she went into college, my sister had a rebellious phase and stayed out many nights. As a result of this, my mother and I would be the one to take care of her dog, and once, when our pet got scared during a thunderstorm and ran upstairs, my mother found her and kicked her down 2 flights of stairs. She also hit me and took away my devices for “not noticing” that our dog had ran up. When I turned eleven, my family planned to move to America because of a job opportunity my father had. I was unsure about the idea, and my sister and parents both had differing opinions. My sister ended up making me cry by telling me how I’d miss my friends and what not, and brought my dad to watch me “air my concerns.” When my sister wasn’t around, my dad told me that she was just trying to manipulate me because she didn’t want to lose her dog, since we’d be sending our pet to my aunt’s while we were in America. I realised that both of them were actually trying to manipulate me to their side, and became very untrusting of them after the event. When we finally moved, I became very withdrawn from my parents and mostly stayed in my room because of my past experiences. My mother, of course, didn’t like this and, for a little while, demanded that I never close my room door. We were living in an small single floor apartment at the time, and my bedroom was connected to the living room, so anyone from there would have a bird’s eye view of what I was doing at any moment. Since I became so introverted and emotionally blank, my mother thought I was literally becoming psychopathic. She read a news article about some quiet girl who poisoned someone, and and told me that I was going to become a “monster” like the girl because I started acting socially distant. She also cried because I was a “木头人(wooden block, basically showing no emotion),” and didn’t care about her. After moving to a new American middle school, I started getting more friends, and since I was so badly bullied in Asia, this was basically like a dream for me. When I told my mom about how I’d let my friends rant to me about their problems, she said that I had no friends, that they didn’t care about me, and that they were just using me as their psychologist. When I ran off crying, she told my dad that it was good, so that I’d “learn my lesson,” whatever the lesson was. When she was teaching me how to make an egg sandwich, she also hit me for putting pepper on the wrong side of the sandwich. When I moved to high school, I started learning about how corporal punishment and abuse was wrong in Western culture. I was shocked at how my friends had so much freedom, had such healthy relationships with their parents, and could speak to them so freely. As a child, many of the books I read and all the adults around told me to just love and respect my parents, and that everything they did was for my own good. I thought that I was being a selfish and bad daughter for not liking the way they treated me. My teachers also noticed that I said “sorry” a lot, even when I apparently didn’t need to, which was something I couldn’t help. Now, I’ve moved back to South East Asia. My grades have improved much more, and I’ve just graduated from high school a few months ago. I’m going to enter college for a major in biomed next year. It kinda sounds pathetic to admit, but I just spend my days holed up in my room while waiting. I lost contact with my Asian friends long ago, so the only other contacts I have that aren’t my family are my American friends, who I still talk to online. When I look back on my childhood, everything is a blur. I can barely remember any happy events from that time, and there are many gaps in my memory. Many of my family members express surprise when I tell them that I don’t remember much. I’m not sure if this is my brain blocking out the trauma or just the natural process of time. I occasionally get nightmares about my parents, and many of them are about memories I didn’t even know existed until I wake up crying. I’ve started to keep a dream journal and noting down the dates and contents of the nightmares, in an attempt to organise my thoughts. I’ve also recently broken down over seeing a piece of furniture I accidentally broke as child. I don’t remember what my mother did to me then, but all I know was that I was very scared. My mom has mellowed out over the years, but I try to avoid her. She gets a bit peeved that I don’t spend time with her, but I’m not going to tell her the reason why I do so. My dad in particular has gotten a bit more aggressive and prideful, refusing to admit any faults and getting angry the moment someone disagrees with him. He also lectures me way more now, and tried to get me to ignore the way my mom mistreated me, since it’s “not nice to her.” Although he’s hard to talk to, I manage. Since I’m going to college next year, I’m moving in with my sister, who suggested going to therapy. I’m interested, but also a bit apprehensive, since I know it’s going to open up old wounds which I’ve tried to hide and potentially make me talk to my parents more. I really don’t want to do that, because I’ve slightly considered cutting contact with them when I become financially stable. They are my parents though, and I do owe them for providing for me for so many years, so I don’t think it’s the best course of action. Hopefully I’ll figure something out when I get older. To anyone who’s made it this far, thank you so much for reading this. You have no idea how good it feels to finally get this off my chest. The only other person I’ve ever told this to was my teacher in America, and I had to convince him not to call social services for me since I didn’t want my mom to get arrested. Well, I guess this is all I have to say. I’ll see if I can update this post if I remember anything else.
submitted by AlYlNG to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]


2020.09.03 04:16 tommygunz007 I truly loved 1980s/90's malls with their stores where you discovered, browsed, learned, and cruised for dates. Malls back then were just better than the online world of today.

We browsed Discovery Store, Nature Company, Brookstone, and Spencers. We ate at Orange Julius, played video games at Time Out, and even stood in line for hours to try vector based virtual reality gear. We bought cassingles from Record Theater, Tower Records, or Sam Goody. We played them til they jammed and snapped, even fixing them with scotch tape and a pencil. We met dates there too, some of which got married and had kids! We checked out Animation Cells from cartoons we grew up with. We went into that weird Asian Ninja store that had throwing stars under the glass counter and got every Ninja movie made by Golan Globus. We went to Blockbuster across the street and rented Krull, or History of the World, Part 1. But the mall was where it was at. They all had that big water feature in the middle, a wishing fountain. Back then we all had those shiny nylon jackets or acid washed airbrushed coats with rhinestones embedded in it. There was that mini glass blowing kiosk with glass trinkets on mirrors to buy, next to the Airbrush guy, next to the Piercing Pagoda. You browsed, you learned, you grew, you cruised.
It was the "American Graffiti" of it's day, a place where our lives and memories were formed while starting at a Rainforest Cafe next to a giant gumball machine.
submitted by tommygunz007 to unpopularopinion [link] [comments]


2020.09.02 14:12 confusedasian69 I walked away from a Tinder date after making Her Pay

Confused Asian somewhere in Asia.. So i matched with this girl the other day without a bio description .. texted her, she replies ..but i wasn't in the mood to hang out that day so i just told her lets hang out some good day , she replies why not today since she was getting off from work soon, and so well i just went ahead and met her at the mall where she was at ... she looks sexy and pretty however she doesn't resemble her profile picture. .. to my surprise she doesn't speak English well and her replies are quite awkward...things are starting to look a bit fishy. she takes me to an expensive bar lounge which i realized only after going in .. am a student and not a rich one so i can't possibly spend over 100$ for a weird tinder date...am beginning to think she's an escort... am stuck.. i wanna get out .. waiter arrives ...she points towards a drink in the menu.. waiter wants an upfront payment for the wine bottle ... i had no option... i straightaway tell her if we were going to split or she gonna pay for that..i think she heard the later.. she gave her card to the waiter..payment done.. she is clearly pissed now.. she's on her phone typing and not even looking or talking to me... i tell the waiter i am not going to drink , she isn't drinking either.. they cleared the table .... she walks to the washroom , i followed her, she is pissed am following her and said something, i don't even know what i was going to say maybe say sorry i can't afford this place or something .. i went back .. and decided to just get out of there .. just like that.. i am still confused WTF happened back there... what should i have done aside from not going out that day ?
submitted by confusedasian69 to tinderstories [link] [comments]


2020.08.30 21:40 spongebob_nopants Be a racist and lie on your neighbors? Welcome to eviction, population you

ok, I’ll share another revenge. I’m only vengeful when someone deserves it and that’s usually often so I’ll share one i did from 2011.
Anyone who has seen my posts know I used to work in the private security field. Not mall cops, but highly trained and skilled and armed security. We worked residential buildings and complexes that were very high end, like $200,000 cars in the parking garages high end.
Now places like this are karen central. Imagine apartments full of Karen’s and entitled teenagers. Now the company owner was awsome. A cop as his regular job he understood what we faced. His advice was to be nice but put the hammer down if you have to and don’t take their shit. Also that if we didn’t get 2 complaints a month about us for worthless shit that were werent engaging the residents enough (lol)
So, this is important to the revenge, each supervisor had 10-15 properties under their control. Regular officers patrolled them, but we were in charge of helping with evictions, attending town halls on security issues, deciding how an officer patrols or updating what areas are being a problem or needing checked. I had 12.
now in this one apartment complex we had a couple always calling us. (We has an emergency line open from 6pm to 6am) when we get there they cry about their upstairs neighbor. It was a list of things they just changed. Stomping, music, talking, cooking smells, their dog going number 1 on the balcony and it dripping onto theirs. Valid complaints, if we found evidence and we never did. When they seen we were starting to question if they were real they changed tactics and went racist. The couple above them were a sweet and wonderful middle aged Asian couple. Husband was an immigrant, but the wife was a born and raised American. These racist createns had only talked to the husband so they assumed, as all racists do, that they were both immigrants.
Sp this white sheet wearing couple started making comments like “those Asians” and “they are in America, why can’t they cook American food” and “I’m afraid to be in the parking garage when one of them is driving in it” while it angered me those comments alone weren’t enough for an eviction. Only thing I could do was have my officers put exact phrasing in the report. I did ask the property manager about the comments and she said if they didn’t say them to the residents and the residents didn’t complain there wasn’t much she could do. So I tried to think of some way to get them evicted. Not only were they lieing to get a couple evicted, but were calling in false things and wasting the officers time to respond. and they didn’t call just every once in a while. They called sometimes twice in on night. Usually 5-8 times a week.
So a month later the opertunity was handed to me. The Asian couple called me during the day and informed me they were going out of the country, China, for two weeks and no one would be in their apartment. They told me this just in case the other couple start complaining I would know they were lying, and asked to check their door once a night to make sure it was locked and not broken into. I informed the Asian couple to not tell their neighbor, none of them that they were leaving and besides myself only tell the property manager.
we had a patrol meeting that night. Officers didn’t work one specific region. So I told them all my plan. I wanted them to respond each time they call and write down exactly what they said happened and also any racial terms no matter how minor. Mark the report urgent and send it out. We had an online system for all business. Email, schedules, report submitting, you get the idea.
So away we go. During those 14 days they complained 18 times. Everything was documented and I took it to the manager. She looked it over and said let’s evict them. Side note: the client gets charged more for emergency response than they do for regular patrols. Meaning their lies were costing mone.
so, there was no HOA because they were rentals. In this situation myself, the property manager and the tenants sit down at a table. The charges for eviction or read. If the eviction of security related then I say what violations have been broken etc, not opinions, just facts based on the reports which the tenants get a copy of. Then the tenants have a right to speak and ask questions. The property manager then decides what happens next. Do they stay or do they go.
So they were sent a formal letter stating they were facing eviction and had ten days to set up a meeting. If not the eviction will be processed.
They set one up. I get there and the asshole couple and the manager are already present. The wife immediately digs into me because I was armed. Uniforms for those situations are a dress shirt, slacks, tie and one weapon and one magazine. Thing ps like elections can be dangerous. I just politely informed her that it was my uniform and not her call to make. She tried to say she felt uncomfortable and wanted to reschedule but the manager said this happens now or I WILL evict you. So they agreed to continue.
Now for legal reasons these session were recorded by video, that way the tenant can’t lie in eviction court or sue. In front of me we’re all 18 reports and went over each one. time, date, who called apartment number. I also read out each line telling them to tell me what they feel is false and what is true. The only thing they said the racial terms weren’t true. At the end of each report I basically said the report is accurate in the fact that tenets in apartment xyz were playing their music to loud but you are claiming the comments about their race or false? I got a yes answer everytime.
About the seventh one I think the wife caught one. She starting complaining that I was dragging it out. I just smiled politely and reminded her that this was my time and she ample opportunity to object and ask me questions but only after I was done. And then went through the rest and let them build a defense.
Then after I was done getting the admit to lies, I informed them that tenets in said apartment were actually out of the country at the time of those 18 reports and that the tenants provided proof that they were gone and my officers checked the apartment one time a night and confirmed that it was empty. Then I smiled pleasantly and ended my part, but the look on their face was a mix of anger and fear.
They didnt have a defense. Basically saying myself and the manager were choosing immigrants over Americans. Oh did I mention the manager is an immigrant? That went over like a hand granade in a collection plate. Once they said that she stopped it and told them she was, that made matters worse because they said she was just taking up for her own kind. During this I’m calm and collected. Inside my mind im thinking “oh shit”. After a few more racial remarks the manager just stopped them and said guilty and she would process the eviction paperwork with the courts in the morning.
long story short they were given 14 days, from what I heard the judge gave them 30 until they called him a racial name.
I was able to call the nice Asian couple and let them know that it was over and they didn’t have to worry because we would no longer respond to calls about their apartment for the next 14 days until eviction came through and the bad tenants left. But they were welcome to call anytime if they need help or have an issue.
security officers want to help so bad, but are limited by either laws, property management rule or both so it is nice to do some good.
UPDATE: thanks for the awards everyone. I debated even posting this and didn’t expect it to blow up as it has.
submitted by spongebob_nopants to ProRevenge [link] [comments]


2020.08.21 19:17 WhippetDancer Local Durham Shops & Restaurants You Need to Know About

Hey, Duke students! There are plenty of great local restaurants near campus and around town you should know about and frequent (while wearing a mask and social distancing, of course):
Ninth Street Area:
Central Park / Geer Street Area
Brightleaf Square
Five Points / Downtown
GoldenBelt Area
American Tobacco Campus ***seems like there are new restaurants every week. Great area to see outdoor music and walk along the “river walk.”
Lakewood Area
Other Areas
Sorry for the long post, but Durham has a lot to offer! Get off campus and explore this great town. I know I’ve forgotten places that should be on this list. If you’re a local Durhamite or upperclassman, what are your favorite spots I missed?
submitted by WhippetDancer to duke [link] [comments]


2020.08.18 01:39 hermit300 12 sets Update - practicing mystery method

12 sets Update - I did 8 sets today, which I'm very proud of. 6 of them were done on groups of people not just one person by herself. this is the first time I've gone out specifically with the intention of meeting girls, since i started the 100 set challenge. I went to the mall near by with a friend. At the end of the day, I've made a little change to my opener. I only practiced one opener today which is, "hey guys, if someone says I love you, but the person was drunk, does it count?".
Overall, I am very impressed with the results of mystery method. It worked out a lot better than I imagined. out of the 8, only one of them failed to open, but even that still worked in a way. here are the details.
set 1 - I tired the opener on the cashier at H&M. she was checking out a few item for me and I use the opener on her as a warm up.
set 2 - the next was a group of high school girls, one of them was in my age range though. it was about 6 of them. I opened with the usually and it hooked them right away. they all gave their answers and I teased some of them for their answers. I also saw a couple of them giving strong IOI's. i asked how they knew each other. we ended up talking about what places and stores were great to hang out. overall it was good practice, for opening at least.
set 3 - I opened this older lady with a child about 14 years old. they were walking past me and my friend and I opened with the usual. they seemed to be in a bit of a hurry and she seemed uninterested, but after I said the last part of "if the person was drunk". she said "ohh" and started to think about it" I was able to have a short interaction with her. the little girl she was with looked like she wanted to say something and add to the interaction but couldn't because she was with her mom/grandma. overall good practice.
set 4 - I opened a 1set. she was walking past me and my friend, and I opened with the usual. she was into it and was giving me strong IOI's. I asked her where she was from after and kinda ended It. I was a bit nervous. i've been kicking myself for not pushing a lot further with that, even my friend noticed and mentioned that she was completely into me. but this is a mistake I don't plan on making again. overall great practice.
set 5 - I was about to skip to set 8 but I just remembered this one. I opened a group of 2 asian women who where with 2 younger daughters. the daughters were about high school age. when I opened them, I was aware that there could be a possible language barrier but I still went in anyways. after I finished asking the question, they didn't respond right away like usual, however a lady near by jumped into the conversation. completely I pulled my attention from the group and went over to her. my friend ended up talking to her for a while. I'm not sure if the Asian ladies understood what I was saying or whatever, but I guess i'll never know
set 8 - I opened 2 girls who were walking past me with the usual. it was able to hook. they were both in my dating range. even though it opened both people successfully, one girl seem more into it than the other. as we were walking away I threw out something out there and I could tell that she was trying to find something to grasp on to keep the conversation going which was an IOI . I could have made them stay and push it further but we bailed a little too soon. overall good practice
some of the things mentioned in the description did not seem as obvious when I was in set but has occurred to me as I'm typing this. overall, there was a lot of feed back and ways to improve. I have new ideas for openers that I will be trying in the future. I will be going out again tomorrow.
Let me know any advice you have or comments or things to try.
submitted by hermit300 to 100sets [link] [comments]


2020.08.06 21:20 thegreatestoneofall I wish all of these 1000 universes would combine into one

The one thousand universes are:
Real Life, Super Mario, The Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, Sonic the Hedgehog, Crash Bandicoot, Halo, Call of Duty, Earthbound, Five Nights at Freddy’s, DC, Marvel, Ghostbusters, Pac-Man, Mega Man, Bomberman, The Lego Movie, Scooby-Doo, Super Meat Boy, Memes, Wreck-it Ralph, Skylanders, The A-Team, Knight Rider, The Goonies, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Blend S, Vocaloid, UTAU, Spyro the Dragon, The Simpsons, Futurama, Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, The Lord of the Rings, Mission, Impossible, Gremlins, Gnomeo and Juliet, Powerpuff Girls, Powerpuff Girls Z, Beetlejuice, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, My Little Pony Equestria Girls, Black Rock Shooter, Lego Dimensions, Portal, Plants Vs Zombies, Machinarium, Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, Baldi’s Basics, Puzzle Puppers, Crane Game Toreba, Snipperclips, Puyo Puyo, Kirby, Lego City Undercover, Ninjago, Legends of Chima, Nexo Knights, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Poptropica, Resident Evil, Peanuts, Robot Chicken, Scribblenauts, Splatoon, ARMS, Bee Movie, Shrek, Octopath Traveler, Bubsy, Drawn To Life, Drawn Together, Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, Wall-E, The Good Dinosaur, Inside Out, Captain Underpants, Timmy Failure, Spongebob Squarepants, The Loud House, The Fairly OddParents, Invader Zim, Cow & Chicken, Samurai Jack, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe, Clarence, Uncle Grandpa, Plague Inc., Sailor Moon, Ghost Trick, Ace Attorney, Professor Layton, Looney Tunes, Yu Gi Oh, Beyblade, Yo-Kai Watch, Cars, Team Fortress, Half Life, The Sims, Cory In The House, Annoying Orange, My Hero Academia, Mr. Peabody and Sherman, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, Back to the Future, Rick & Morty, Family Guy, Doki Doki Literature Club, Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, Jetpack Joyride, Out There, Akinator, Dragon Ball, Super Smash Bros, Star Wars, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Lonely Wolf Treat, Syrup and the Ultimate Sweet, First Kiss as a Spooky Soiree, Contract Demon, Romance Detective, Tunnel Vision, KAIMA, Her Tears Were My Light, Mermaid Splash Passion Festival, The Twilight Zone, Disaster Log C, Yandere Simulator, Yanderella, Mikoto Nikki, Mix Ore, The Dark Side of Red Riding Hood, Makoto Mobius, You Me And Empty Words, Shihori Escape, Tsukimi Planet, Full Boko Youchien, Love Live, Menherafflesia, Roco Kingdom, Seer, Mole’s World, Hawaiian Slammers, Planes, Frozen, Tangled, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Naruto, Shin Megami Tensei, Persona, Digimon, No Matter How I Look At It It’s You Guy’s Fault I’m Not Popular!, I Can’t Believe My Little Sister is This Cute, THE [email protected], High School DxD, Hihi Puffy Ami Yumi Show, Momoe Link, Minecraft, Locked Heart, Confess my Love, Transparent Black, Nintendo Badge Arcade, Swapnote, World of Goo, Rayman, Little Inferno, Amazing Alex, Banjo - Kazooie, Yooka-Laylee, Sly Cooper, RWBY, Despicable Me, Nomad of Nowhere, Bravest Warriors, Xenoblade Chronicles, Punch Out!!, Contra, Silent Hill, Tokimeki Memorial, Spelunker, Spelunky, Zork, Bit Trip, VVVVVV, Runman Race Around the World, N, Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom, Hitman, Tomb Raider, Metal Gear, Fire Emblem, Animal Crossing, Metroid, Gradius, Zone of the Enders, I Wanna Be The Guy, Jumper, Braid, Alien Hominid, Castle Crashers, Charlie Murder, The Emoji Movie, Castlevania, Animator vs Animation, Brave, Hello Neighbor, The Storey Treehouse, Wacky Game Jokez 4 Kidz, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Bayonetta, Mii, Wario, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, Unikitty!, Sword Art Online, Squid Girl, Slenderman, The Flintsones, The Berenstain Bears, The Jetsons, Okami, Sushi Striker Way of the Sushido, Shovel Knight, Kid Icarus, Jurassic Park, Tom Gates, Art Academy, Fortnite, PLAYERUNKNOWN’S BATTLEGROUNDS, Fallout, The Land Before Time, Doctor Who, The Lego Batman Movie, Himegoto, Marchen Madchen, Bojack Horseman, Total Drama, Toradora, One Punch Man, Attack on Titan, Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Wizard of Oz, Super Smosh, Alfred and Poe, Dev Guy, Valentine Panic, Seduce Me The Otome, Trick and Treat, Haruka Winter Dreams, Scratch, 9, The Problem Solverz, Animal Inspector, Liar Liar, Love or Die, MisSHAPEn Love, Pervert&Yandere, Paper Roses, BookSLEEPer, Heartbaked, Lads in Distress, Teletubbies, Thomas & Friends, The Walking Dead, The Big Bang Theory, 13 Reasons Why, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Gumby, Gravity Falls, Welcome to the Wayne, Tom and Jerry, Baka to Test, Golden Time, Searching, Taken, Charming, Ballerina, Home Improvement, The Sandlot, Flappy Bird, Swing Copters, Turbo, Pocket Protectors, BoxBoy!, The Barefoot Bandits, Letter Quest, Overcooked, Hydlide, Oh Sir!, Taco Man Plays a Video Game, Game Gramps, Pepsiman, Gamestop, VOEZ, DEEMO, Cytus, Kitten Squad, Super Mario Logan, Dr. Stone, Bee and Puppycat, Over the Garden Wall, Star vs The Forces of Evil, Power Rangers, Danny Phantom, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius, Planet Sheen, Dexter’s Laboratory, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Chowder, The Amazing World of Gumball, We Bare Bears, Felix the Cat, Bendy and the Ink Machine, Outbreak Company, Tokyo Mew Mew, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Card Captor Sakura, Ghostmates, Smosh, Bunsen is a Beast, Coco, Monsters Inc., The Incredibles, Spirited Away, Becky Prim, Kim Possible, Meet the Robinsons, The Little Mermaid, Zootopia, Taiko no Tatsujin, Alien, The Lego Ninjago Movie, Gundam, The Muppets, Alf, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The X-Files, Godzilla, Final Destination, Ice Age, Lilo and Stitch, RoboCop, The Terminator, Saw, The Purge, 50 Shades of Grey, Tron, Dead Space, Overwatch, Fatal Fury, Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter, Tekken, A Boy and his Blob, Ace Combat, Master Higgins, Adventures of Lolo, Aero the Acro-bat, Ape Escape, Asteroids, Battletoads, Spooky’s House of Jumpscares, The Call of Cthulhu, Chibi-Robo, Frankenstein, Dracula, Boku no Pico, Burger Time, Citrus, Putt-Putt, Pajama Sam, Prison Tycoon, RollerCoaster Tycoon, Restaurant Empire, Frogger, Freddi Fish, Fatty Bear, Spy Fox, Gal Gun, Game & Watch, Guitar Hero, Rock Band, The Man With The Invisible Trousers, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Passpartout, Just Dance, Sega Hard Girls, Kinectimals, Left 4 Dead, Life is Strange, LittleBigPlanet, LovePlus, Nights, Naughty Bear, Ted, Houdini (2014 Movie), Q*bert, Pixels, Touhou Project, Toejam and Earl, The Oregon Trail, The Organ Trail, Yakuza, Mall Tycoon, Zoo Tycoon, Yukon Trail, Detention, The Nutshack, LazyTown, Purgatory, Desolate Village, The Desolate Hope, The Pilgrim’s Progress, Captain Bible, Bad Milk, Journey to the West, Death Squared, Watch_Dogs, Sleeping Dogs, Paletta, Wrecking Crew, Sara is Missing, Simulacra, Welcome to the Game, Rides with Strangers, A Normal Lost Phone, Mogeko Castle, Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, Little Nightmares, Little Einsteins, Sally Face, Fran Bow, Kick the Buddy, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Phineas and Ferb, Big Nate, Nate is Late, The Ring, Inanimate Insanity, Winx Club, Tinkerbell, Sausage Party, The Lord of the Rings, Duck Hunt, Starfox, F-Zero, Enchanted, Roblox, Hearthstone, Talking Tom, Crossy Road, Granny, The Titanic, Dexter, How I Met Your Mother, El Tigre, Mucha Lucha, The Book of Life, Cuphead, Waterworld, GradeAUnderA, Foodfight!, Cyanide and Happiness, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, The Brave Little Toaster, PlayStation, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Club Penguin, Sonic.exe, Pivot Stick Animator, Mr. Bean, Skitzo, Captain N The Game Master, Waluigi Travels Through The Multiverse, Parappa the Rapper, God of War, Uncharted, Bioshock, Paperboy, Gauntlet, 720°, Marble Madness, Spy vs Spy, Xbox, A Kingdom for Keflings, Cloudberry Kingdom, Girls Like Robots, Can Your Pet, Snail, Snail Bob, The King’s Avatar, King’s Knight, King’s Quest, Monster Bark, Haunt the House, Detective Grimoire, Sort the Court, Wallace and Gromit, Frankenweenie, Atelier, Recetterar An Item Shop’s Tale, Tales Of, Lost Sphear, PETA, Cooking Mama, Gish, Aquaria, Owlboy, Alex Kidd, Space Channel 5, Mighty no. 9, Blaster Master, Vroom in the Night Sky, Azure Striker Gunvolt, Senran Kagura, Disgaea, The Legend of Dark Witch, Pico’s School, Riddle School, Clock Crew, Lock Legion, Steamshovel Harry, Bionicles, Hero Factory, Alien Conquest, XCOM, Chantelise, Yobi’s Basic Spelling Tricks, The House of the Dead, The Typing of the Dead, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, Where’s Wally?, Where’s Waldo?, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, Adam Ruins Everything, South Park, The Human Centipede, CollegeHumor, Kingdom Hearts, King Kong, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Edward Scissorhands, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy, Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma, DanTDM, Anthony Padilla, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Angry Video Game Nerd, James Bond, Epic, Dance Dance Revolution, Edd Edd n’ Eddy, Hey Arnold, Codename Kids Next Door, Back to Backspace, Big City Greens, Danger Planet, Twelve Forever, Infinity Train, Jack & Jill (Adam Sandler), Red Dog, Air Bud, 101 Dalmations, Element Animations, The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, That’s So Raven, Milo Murphy’s Law, Even Stevens, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Malcolm in the Middle, Hotel Transylvania, DuckTales, Elena of Avalor, Sofia the First, The Proud Family, The Emperor’s New Groove, American Dragon Jake Long, Fanboy & Chum Chum, Fish Hooks, Smart House, Invisible Dad, Tender Loving Care, My Magic Dog, Boy Meets World, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Shorty Mc Shorts’ Shorts, Shezow, Call of Duty Dog, Sonic for Hire, Video Game Violence Saves the World from Violent Video Games, Doge, Nyan Cat, Wolfychu, Lilypichu, Emirichu, TheOdd1sOut, Domics, Jaiden Animations, Game Theory, Dorkly, Pokemon Rusty, The Greatest Showman, Doodle Jump, Happy Jump, Seen, Color Switch, Agar.io, Slither.io, Cookie Clicker, Donut County, Bitcoin Billionaire, Paper.io, Highschool Romance, Highschool Possession, Nekopara, Ren'Py, Voltron Legendary Defender, Wander Over Yonder, Kablam!, Doug, Avatar The Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, Garfield, Calvin & Hobbes, Lego DC, Lego Friends, FL Studio, R.O.B., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Ice Climber, Captain Commando, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Papers Please, Blocksworld, Ironpants, Happy Wheels, The Truman Show, EdTV, Duck Life, The Average Everyday Adventures of Samantha Browne, Cinderella Phenomenon, Our Home (visual novel), A Day in the Life of a Slice of Bread, a(t)rium, Date (almost) Anything Simulator, [email protected], Stalker & Yandere, Tealy & Orangey, Geometry Dash, Duck Season, Ginosaji - The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon, McDonald’s, Karate Kid, Llamas with Hats, The Misfortune of Being Ned, Super Hexagon, Perfect Dark, Devil World, Balloon Fight, h3h3Productions, Gnoggin, Yo Gabba Gabba, Crazy Frog, Angels of Death, Imaginary Friends (RPG), Cherry Tree High Comedy Club, Pony Island, HuniePop, Tattletail, Corpse Party, Friendship (RPG), Aria’s Story, 1bitheart, Leftway, Tim’s Birthday, Ib, GLITCHED, Amnesia, The Stanley Parable, Long Live the Queen, Draw a Stickman, QWOP, GIRP, Papa’s Games, Whale Trail, 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself, Doodle God, Free Icecream, The Fancy Pants Adventures, Fireboy & Watergirl, 60 Seconds, 60 Parsecs, Getting Over It, Sexy Hiking, I Am Bread, Surgeon Simulator, RapeLay, Mister Mosquito, Cubivore, Custer’s Revenge, Pizza Chef (Atari 2600), Postal, Hatred, Leisure Suit Larry, Jones in the Fast Lane, Manhunt, Hatoful Boyfriend, Bully, Night Trap, Mass Effect, House Party, Who’s Your Daddy, Second Life, Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015, What’s Under Your Blanket!?, Battle Raper, The Maiden Rape Assault - Violent Semen Inferno, Hetalia, Ouran High School Host Club, Rinse and Repeat, DeviantArt, Mystic Messenger, Moemon, Segagaga, Football Manager, CrossFire, Flicky, Captain Novolin, Sega Bass Fishing, Hiragana Pixel Party, Captain Rainbow, The Wonderful 101, The Elder Scrolls, Caller’s Bane, Cobalt, Candy Crush, Sharknado, Who Killed Captain Alex, Archie Comics, Smokey Bear, McGruff the Crime Dog, Neighbours from Hell, Neighbors from Hell, Danganronpa, VeggieTales, Oshi High School Battle, Teleporting Fat Guy (Animated Series), Smosh Babies, Planets (Shut Up! Cartoons), The Day My Bum Went Psycho, The Day My Butt Went Psycho, What’s With Andy?, The Andy Griffith Show, Leave it to Beaver, Pikmin, Face Raiders, Part Timers, Trollface Quest, Coraline, Aladdin, Chibi Miku San, This Man Sono Kao o Mita Mono ni wa Shi o, Vsauce, Kirarin Revolution, Stellar Theatre, Hanazuki Full of Treasures, Penn Zero Part Time Hero, The Croods, Shawn the Sheep, Shakugan no Shana, Early Man, Walking with Dinosaurs, League of Angels, League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Starcraft, Stardew Valley, Rune Factory, Story of Seasons, Harvest Moon, Botanicula, Fingered, Lucky Star, Akame ge Kill, Kill la Kill, Cowboy Bebop, Recovery of an MMO Junkie, KonoSuba, God’s Blessing on this Wonderful World!, Natsuiro Haisukuru★Seishun Hakusho ~Tenkou Shonichi no Ore ga Osananajimi to Saikai shitara Houdoubuin ni Sarete ite Gekisha Shounen no Hibi wa Sukuupu Dairenpatsu de Igai to Motemote nanoni Nazeka Mai Memori wa Pantsu Shashin Bakkari toiu Genjitsu to Mukiainagara Kangaeru Hitonatsu no Shima no Gakuen Seikatsu to Sekirarana Koi no Yukue.~, Short Circuit, Boyhood, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, In Another World with My Smartphone, Wizard101, Sociolotron, Lego Island, RuneScape, Façade, Bad Rats, Iron Soul, Crisis City, Space Dude, Lula, Money Town, The Magic School Bus, Soda Drinker Pro, I Was A Sword When I Reincarnated, My Reincarnation as a Hot Spring in a Different World is Beyond Belief ~ It's Not Like Being Inside You Feels Good or Anything!?, Island, Crush Crush, Yandere I Love You So I Want to Kill You, Kimi to Kanojo to Kanojo no Koi, Kimi to mita sora no uta, City Connection, Cinders, AdVenture Capitalist, Tiny Tower, Pocket Planes, Pocket Trains, Pocket Frogs, I Am [Shape], Melancholic, Stargazer (song), Love Trial, Pou, One Chance, Dear Diary The Secrets of Anna, Episode, Kim Kardashian Hollywood, Sabreman, Kameo Elements of Power, It’s Mr. Pants, Whatever Happened to... Robot Jones?, Snakes on a Plane, Crazy Rich Asians, Soul Eater, 911 Operator, Ultra Series, The Adventures of Kid Danger, Johnny Test, Brawl in the Family, Meteor 60 Seconds, OK K.O Let's Be Heroes!, BoBoiBoy, DragonVale, Crush the Castle, Demonic Crepes, Barbie, Lego Elves, Spy Kids, Baby Geniuses, Laserblast, Giftpia, Panel De Pon, Shin Onigashima, The Mysterious Murasame Castle, nigahiga, Dragon City, Clash of Clans, Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme, Inuyasha, Inuyashiki, Scream, Manual Samuel, Flipping Death, Tiny Thief, Boom Beach, Reigns, The Escapists, A Hat in Time, Murder Police, Dragalia Lost, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Dora the Explorer, Doraemon, Inception, The Matrix, Fight Club, The Godfather, We Bought a Zoo, White Chicks, Dumb and Dumber, BASEketball, The Breakfast Club, Donnie Darko, The Devil Wears Prada, Darkwing Duck, Jaws, Mean Girls, The Room, Lost, Never Been Kissed, Tarzan, The Sixth Sense, The Help, The Shining, Rocky, Sing, Blade Runner, Cut the Rope, Enter the Ninja, Surf Ninjas, Jazza, Dork Diaries, Lifeline, Project Hyrax, Future Diary, Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, Todo Today, Happy Heroes, Asura’s Wrath, ZONE, 3 Ninjas, Dragon Quest, The Uncle Dolan Show, Jonny Quest, Space Ghost, Chipper & Sons Lumber Co., One Night Stand, GEICO, Dodo, Transformers, Bravely Default, Henry Danger, SMG4, Meta Runner, Rumble Roses, Mystical Ninja, Bio Miracle, Pop’n Music, Star Soldier, The Legendary Starfy, Gears of War, Drakengard, NieR, Nintendo Labo, Earth-chan, Rage Comics, Advice Animals, Buddhism, Bakusou Yankee Damashii, Hanjuku Hero, Mana, Front Mission, EverQuest, Radiata Stories, Brave Fencer Musashi, SaGa, Grandia, Heavy Metal Thunder, Code Age, Fantasy Earth Zero, Valkyrie Profile, Silpheed, Project Sylpheed, Concerto Gate, Odin Sphere, The World Ends With You, Star Ocean, Exit (Video Game), SCP Foundation, A Certain Magical Index, Fate, ‘Splosion Man, I Am Setsuna, Megamind, Re: Zero - Starting Life In Another World, Black Mirror, osu!, Celeste, Red vs. Blue, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Sit ‘N Survive, The Boys, Negative Nancy, Viewtiful Joe, DAEMON X MACHINA, Astral Chain, Job Simulator, Dungeons and Dragons, Homestuck, & The Holy Bible.
Found this on Thedouchebaggenie
submitted by thegreatestoneofall to TheMonkeysPaw [link] [comments]


2020.07.28 09:31 guns_n_gardenias Cards Against Humanity Custom Word List! 😈😈😈

I didn't copy the cards word-to-word (the sentences may be too long?) so I broke them down a bit. Also, I filtered out most of the more... NSFW kinky sex-related stuff. Me personally, I don't feel comfortable with people drawing d*cks and vajayjays in a Skribbl game, so I took them out. Feel free to add them back in, if you're okay with it. I also took out some names that aren't really significant to me and the group of friends I play with. There's PDFs of the cards online and their expansions, that's where I got my references :>
Enjoy!
Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, pool, tears, hat, cool, Auschwitz, fart, walk, stray, old people, smell, fire, Lunchables, Keanu Reeves, smallpox, Hurricane Katrina, Racism, Kugel, snapping turtle, Michael Jackson, impotence, Natalie Portman, The Big Bang, Holocaust, geese, bees, Jew, gay, AIDS, drama club, overcompensation, sand, birthday party, pleasantry, Queen of England, menstruation, Teletubbies, agenda, abortion, Bible, Tom Cruise, all-you-can-eat buffet, shrimp, parking lot, Denny's, Martha Stewart, raptor attacks, dental, dam, condom, abstinence, tentacles, Nazis, America, global warming, science, ring pops, plastic surgery, butt, Axe Body Spray, Paris Hilton, Seppuku, James Bond, lick, binge, purge, cannibalism, piercing, electrocution, soup, child abuse, alcoholism, fetus, yeast, booby traps, prayer, Kanye West, puberty, heroin, agriculture, team-building, goblins, sea of troubles, obesity, chivalry, falcon, Bill Nye, Hot Pockets, BATMAN, iced caramel macchiato, dessert pizza, Domino's, fire, blunt, men, Steve Irwin, The KKK, SAT exam, golden showers, popcorn butter, Tiger Woods, Gandhi, pout, ethnic cleansing, Twinkies, pterodactyl, Ronald Reagan, Will Smith, Martin Luther King Jr, Four Loko, ghosts, natural selection, intelligent design, popped collar, The Underground Railroad, necrophilia, substitute teachers, land mines, The Amish, Elmo, post-modernism, midget, soul, passive aggressive, kibble, flash flood, human combustion, vampire movie, The Hamburglar, Justin Bieber, Heath Ledger, me time, incest, tension, emotions, Viagra, rich, lumberjack, dead parents, cat pee, nocturnal, fabulous, Arnold Schwarzenegger, chainsaw, Darth Vader, Bananas in Pajamas, canned tuna, Vikings, the heart of a child, leprosy, Britney Spears, Asia, math, hoopla, placenta, fraternity, Cards Against Humanity, Mathletes, destruction, stranger danger, iPhone, pre-teen, Existentialist, Dysentery, The Pope, Facebook, Genghis Khan, Oompa Loopas, M. Night Shyamalan, socks, voicemail, awkward, fingers, catapult, sperm whale, Creed, Red Sea, roller skates, explosives, Estrogen, dungeon, puppies, Grandma, lockjaw, fear, flightless bird, underpants, herpes, Michael Bay, abs, Robert Downey Jr, thermonuclear, windmill, corpses, New Age, saxophone, seduction, poor, homeless, sunshine, rainbows, benefit, Adderall, free sample, kidney stone, accident, Mad Cow Disease, yodeling, The South, sniff, lollipop, party pooper, Kool Aid, folk music, Japan, white people, prancing, tweeting, amputee, gymnastics team, lifetime of sadness, grave robbing, bowels, world peace, centaurs, casualty, hustle, Shaquille O'Neal, hot people, Stephen Hawking, girls, Italy, relationship status, Kamikaze, repression, scalp, Mexico, child beauty pageants, murder, friction, lobotomy, attitude, leash, cigarette, cuddling, stab wound, mouthwash, drunk, sniffing, glue, minority, college, drinking, yogurt, crumpets, pee, breakfast burrito, robot, love, re-gifting, Tamagotchi, dying, cookies, bake-sale, lamp, clinic, listening, wheelchair, monkey, hair gel, mime, Pac-Man, Harry Potter, peanut butter, parents, forget, lab rats, alternative medicine, high, high five, Chinese food, Happy Meal, power, sleep, night, Vin Diesel, dinner, billionaire, statue, wizard, baseball, app, acid, gas, haiku, time travel, hole, loneliness, chocolate, nothing, racism, cat video, lamprey, toilet, money, cops, acoustic guitar, hoodie, death, fire ants, possession, cowgirl, society, shots, maniac, scream, shotgun, flashback, Vietnam War, butterscotch, mall, unlimited breadsticks, conga, dimension, velcro, disco, PowerPoint, Samuel L. Jackson, mustache, punching, texting, Internet, pants, energy drink, lava lamp, Satan, cooking, bus driver, Pikachu, pregnant, 'Murica, NASCAR, Urban Dictionary, Cthulhu, cat, Ghostbusters, drunk text, carousel, haunted, cheese grater, beekeeping, coffin, litter box, smoke detector, hot sauce, dragon, slow clap, doll house, liberty, justice, hamster, one trillion dollars, Fifty Shades of Grey, Oprah, veterans, physics, bar mitzvah, Detroit, diarrhea, implants, email, socks, black hole, wedding, customer service, pizza, donkey, candy, Popeye's, motel, public restroom, puns, first date, Wikipedia, fundamentalism, Ellen DeGeneres, Monty Python, eugenics, Europe, reality show, euthanasia, toilet paper, Sonic, waxing, skinny jeans, gas station, gold digger, sperm bank, rock-paper-scissors, Hello Kitty, feminist, husband, roommate, clown, trombone, Ben and Jerry's, salmonella, first world problems, dominoes, diapers, millionaire, ninja, mentos, Diet Coke, pearl necklace, magnet, scorpions, pinata, sheep, uncle, nuns, snake, dentist, time machine, English, squirrel, whale, angry, tax, steal, giant squid, chewing gum, ginger, Taylor Swift, hairball, girl scouts, wife, Stormtrooper, the dark side, Pop-Tarts, Black Friday, sneezing, dinner, gynecologist, Asian, hoarder, frat boy, sacrifice, hunting, atheist, church, immigrant, asphyxia, The Civil War, drama club, Indian food, incompetence, childhood dreams, bloodlust, bath salts, choir, facial hair, The Holy Grail, wedding cake, centipede, Saturday morning cartoon, Kim Kardashian, bedbugs, beef, beer, fisherman, crabs, tea party, kumquat, belly button, Osama Bin Laden, blood diamond, volcano, waffles, stutter, mouth, facelift, boy bands, toenails, bunnies, casserole, Michigan, deaf, butter, unconditional love, Muhammad Ali, muscles, war crimes, Twilight, hopes and dreams, chimpanzee, clam chowder, girl scouts, women, troll, Mickey Mouse, cousin, knuckles, check, face, cryogenic, consultant
submitted by guns_n_gardenias to skribbl [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 05:35 katier0812 I’m 20....

 Hi, this is a rant. So I’m 19. I will be turning 20 in less than 3 weeks, and I have some real toxic parents. So up until I was 18, my phone was getting regular check ups. My phone had a tracker surveilling my every move. I wasn’t allowed to talk to friends that my parents hadn’t met. Or when I got my first job I couldn’t even talk to my boss because my parents didn’t know him, plus he was male so my parents flipped. I wasn’t allowed to have social media and I’m still not allowed to have social media. I still have it anyways I just have my parents blocked. I can’t even use the phone for its original purpose which was to call people. If I do I have to tell my parents who they are and how I know them and whether or not it’s a guy or a girl. So that’s almost all of the issues with my phone. Next is my social life.. I wasn’t allowed to have a social life. Mostly due to the fact that most of my friends were black. My parents are nasty racists. They only want me associating myself with the “good races” which are to them, white and Asians. Not with the “bad races” which are to them, Spanish and blacks. So because of the color of my friends skin, I wasn’t allowed to hang out with them. But I wasn’t racist. I never was. I don’t see skin color. I’ve always saw beyond that because I only care about whether or not your a good person or not. I was also not allowed to date. I get it but if I never did anything wrong in the first place then I should at least be allowed to hang out with guys. The most I would ever had done was kiss them. Which who cares? It’s a kiss. I still dated guys but they never lasted long mostly due to my situation with my parents but also because my parents influence on me kinda made me choose some really abusive s/o’s. Because I thought that was what love was. I lost some friends because I couldn’t go out anywhere. I was a loner. I always said no go plans because I knew my parents would say no anyways. But then they would say this line to all my family members whenever we see them, “she never goes out. When I was her age I was doing _____ and ____. So that’s some of my social life issues. Next comes the big one.... PRIVACY. Oh man. Where do I even begin. So I mentioned the whole phone situation but that’s just the beginning. So I have a regular fear now of leaving the house because when I’m not around, my mom will go through my room to find anything to use against me. She sometimes follows me or waits for me by my college when I leave just to see where I go which is straight home and then to the gym. That was my schedule. I did nothing to betray their trust. How could I? I was locked in the house all my life. Now recently I can go out and if I tell her I’m at the mall she will come to the mall and look for me. I have a boyfriend currently and me and him have sat her down and talked with her saying we are dating. She was nasty at first but now she can’t do anything about it. So we would go on dates and she will follow to make sure we don’t hug, kiss, or hold hands. She would watch me. Especially since now she can’t track my phone. She would get into my face and sniff me when I came home to make sure I didn’t smell like drugs or alcohol. Even tho I’m pretty responsible and I know I have to drive home. Plus I only drink champagne with my family on holidays and I smoked once just to understand the hype and this was years ago. She also read my diary from when I was 12 a couple days ago and me and her got into an argument and she brought up those things that she read and I laughed in her face because she’s bringing up stuff I wrote in a diary back in middle school. So in one entry I referred to her as a “so-called parent” so while we were arguing she said “ so I’m being called a so-called parent behind my back. What did I do to deserve a child like you” mind you there many things she did to deserve that. That’s some of my privacy issues. Also due to these things I have major trust issues and I had to tell my friends and my boyfriend so they understand why I say certain things. Next we have my SELF ESTEEM and SELF WORTH. So I’m on the bigger side. I’m not horribly obese. I’m 5’4 and I weigh 172. Which isn’t crazy bad. Yes I need to lose weight but that should be my decision. My mom forced so many diets on me since I was 10. I did a lot such as: keto, fasting, liquid, vegetarian, etc. Which left my body completely messed up. She compares me to my much skinnier cousins. She always calls me fat and ugly that now it’s natural. She tells me to wear makeup anytime we go out. All this and so many more have ruined my self esteem. My mom ruined my self worth as well. She would complain about how I’m in community college calling me dumb and saying how my younger brother would never be caught dead at a community college. She would constantly bring me down but in public she’s always praising me calling me smart and etc to make herself look good. She would tell me that the only reason I still have rn job was because of her influence in the business. Mind you they didn’t even know her. I also left on my own terms. I was always being compared to someone better. But I could never compare her to much better parents or much better moms. She would see my achievements as second rate. So because of these issues whenever I’m with my friends or my boyfriend I don’t like them looking at me for too long and I always call myself ugly. If I make the smallest mistake I call myself dumb. I never make big deals out of small accomplishments like getting an A or graduating. 
This is just a small list of things mostly my mother has done to me. My dad just sits there a watches me be tortured. All I can say now is that because of this abuse I’m left with PTSD, depression, anxiety, insecurities, trust issues, and many more. Thank you to whoever reads this whole thing.
submitted by katier0812 to toxicparents [link] [comments]


2020.07.25 03:29 Japanorama_30 Things to Do List Cedar Rapids, Making an uninteresting city semi more tolerable.

Getting Around
Public transportation will do fine for getting around the downtown area, elsewhere you'll need another option. For public transportation the http://www.cedar-rapids.org/transit/ has all the information on buses that you need. CR has Uber and Lyft as well We also have community bicycle rentals (Bike Rental) If you don't like it here feel free to checkout our amazing airport (The Eastern Iowa Airport) which offers around 10 Direct Flights to Larger Cities (https://www.flightconnections.com/flights-from-cedar-rapids-cid) Which at the time of writing includes Pheonix, Nashville, Atlanta, MSP, Dallas, Chicago and others 
Live Music Venues
US_Cellular_Center Mcgrath Amphitheater Tailgaters/Moco/Underground 
Theater
Paramount Marcus Cedar Rapids TCR 
Comedy
Penguins_Comedy_Club 
Parks, Nature, Trails & Outdoors
Palisades State Park 700 Kepler Dr, Mt Vernon, IA 52314 Cedar Valley Nature Trail Cedar Valley Nature Trail, Hiawatha, IA 52233 Indian Creek - Sac & Fox Rosedale Rd SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52403 Wapsipinicon State Park 21301 Co Rd E34, Anamosa, IA 52205 Eater Iowa Observatory 1365 Ivanhoe Rd, Ely, IA 52227 Mt Trashmore Beverly Park Bike Trails Roller Dam for Fishing Lake McBride for Fishing or Hiking or Beach Pleasant Creek State Recreation Area for Fishing / Beach St Andrews Golf course among many others 
Shopping
CR Running Company for Shoes Marion IA Downtown for Antiques SOKO Outfitters for Outdoor Gear Amana Colonies NewBo Summer_Farmers_Market Lindall Mall (* It's not that great if you must get your Mall Fix go to Outlets Williamsburg 1991 O'Donnell Rd, Williamsburg, IA 52361) Potter's Obsession - design your own Pottery 
Indoors / Bad Weather
Cedar Rapids Museum of Art: Home Czech_Museum Brucemore AfricanAmerican Museum Super Marion Arcade 371 7th Ave, Marion, IA 52302 Civil Axe Throwing Collins Aerospace Rec Center (If you work at Collins Aerospace has an amazing selection of things to do) 
Breweries and Brewpubs
Lions Bridge 59 16th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404 Thew 301 2nd Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404 Quarter Barrel Arcade and Brewery 616 2nd Ave SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401 Third Base 500 Blairs Ferry Rd NE #2, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402 Iowa Brewery 708 3rd St SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 5240 Big Grove 101 W Main St, Solon, IA 52333 Clockhouse Brewing 600 1st St SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52401 
Wine and Whisky Tasting
WineStyles 4201 42nd St NE #170, Cedar Rapids, IA 52402 Cedar Ridge Winery & Distillery 1441 Marak Rd NW, Swisher, IA 52338 
Family Fun
McDonalds's Farm 2700 Bever Ave SE, Cedar Rapids, IA 52403 CRBC for bowling and volley ball SkyZone Trampoline Park Hawkeye Downs Racing (Summer Weekdays) 
Nightlife / Events
CR Nightlife isn't the best it would be better to travel over to Iowa City Hoopla - for list of events AsianFest (Summer Event) City Calendar - https://www.tourismcedarrapids.com/events-calenda 
Food
Cobble Hill - Fancy Date Night type of place Saucy Focaccia or Burgerfiend for Burgers Tomaso's/Zoeys/Need/UrbanPie for Pizza Emil's Hideaway for American Fair Sushi House Oyama Sushi & Steakhouse - Japanese Paradise - Indian Food Manderin Spice - Chinese Food Siamville Thai - Thai Food Los Compadres / El Super Burrito - Mexican Food Dash Coffee - Coffee Siamville Thai - Thai Food Dan and Debbie's Creamery - Ice Cream Mai Pho/Phong’s - Vietnamese 
Unique Sights
American Gothic Barn 278 US Hwy 30, Mt. Vernon, IA Municipal Island, CR is one of the few cities in the world with their central government is on an island. (This is also close to the cities Logo Tree) Mt. Mercy College Our Mother of Sorrow Grotto (https://www.mtmercy.edu/about/grotto) Corn Sculpture 35th St. Marion, IA (The most Iowa thing on the list)\ The Flying Wienie, Restaurant with unique Plan on top 103 8th Ave SW, Cedar Rapids, IA 5240 Lebowski Bar and Grill ( Based of the Famous Movie) Large Indoor Rocking Chair 816 8th Ave., West Amana, IA 
submitted by Japanorama_30 to cedarrapids [link] [comments]


2020.07.24 06:07 Jimbobmovies Duong & America Nguyen, Vietnamese-American father and son, murdered in their home in rural Bealeton, VA off of Rt. 29

The killer(s) have not been found. $20,000 reward being offered by the FBI.
For more information including maps, news stories, case facts, and more, visit www.nguyenmurders.com
Background:
Duong Nguyen emigrated from Vietnam decades ago and was so proud of his new country that he named his son and daughter, America and Virginia, respectively, and even got a tattoo of his date of citizenship. Sometime between midnight Nov. 7 (Wed.) and 6:00 am on Nov. 8 (Thur.), 2018, a person(s) entered his home at 11027 Salisbury Lane, Bealeton, VA, and shot him and his son dead. Authorities reported multiple gun shot wounds to their upper torsos.
The mother and daughter had been away in Vietnam for a few weeks attending to a sick relative and were set to return in a week before the murders happened. While away, the women talked with the men every day. When they didn’t hear from the men after repeated attempts to contact them on November 8, they asked friends to check on them. One of the friends called the Fauquier County Sheriff’s office to request a welfare check. At around 9:30 am on November 9 (Fri.), deputies went to the home and entered through an unlocked door and found the bodies of Duong and America.
The family had just moved into their newly built house in a new, but small subdivision in the summer of 2017. A year and half later, the father and son would be murdered and the house would be sold through a short sale. Months after the murders, Google Maps still did not correctly locate their address because the subdivision was so new.
The house sits off of VA Rt. 29, a major four lane highway. Bealeton is a small, but growing town that is located 18 minutes north of Culpeper and 30 minutes south of Manassas. Much like the Nguyen’s, people have been moving to Bealeton from Northern Virginia because of the affordable housing built on larger plots of land.
For the most part, Bealeton is a blue collar town with smaller subdivisions surrounded by small to mid-sized farms producing dairy and beef. There are lots of places for hunting and fishing. Downtown Bealeton consists of two strip malls with a Food Lion as its only grocery store. Rt. 17, Rt. 29, and Rt. 28 all intersect around downtown Bealeton. According to a July 2019 U.S. Census estimate, 1.7% of the population in Fauquier County, where Bealeton is located, is of Asian descent. This is compared to Prince William County, a neighboring county to the north, that has an Asian population of 9.4%.
Authorities believe the killer(s) may have traveled on the Rt. 28 corridor from and to Manassas/Prince William County on the evening and early mornings around the time the murders happened. They are seeking ANY tips that may lead to a break in the case. FBI is offering a $20,000 reward for any info leading to the killer(s).
Questions:
  1. What are the best online databases to view crimes that have taken place in a geographic area?
  2. Are there any other similar cases that come to mind that have taken place in rural areas?
  3. Why hasn't this been solved yet?
Thanks for your time.
submitted by Jimbobmovies to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.07.13 17:40 DeeplyDisturbed1 The sad tale of Caroline (aka "She Will Be Fine")

A few post and threads got me thinking about Agency this week.
What follows is a short story of fiction (or is it?).
I would normally say "Enjoy", but that seems inappropriate to this particular tale. So I will instead caution you to read at your own discretion. It is not particularly NSFW. But if have done my job, you will know why I say this when you have finished the story.
The Tale of Caroline (She Will Be Fine)
Caroline, a 32 year old professional woman, is planning a trip to Paris.
She has thought about it for many years, but never had the courage to make it happen. So on this day, she finally opens her laptop and starts looking up airfare. She spends time shopping around, playing with dates, etc. She looks into hotels, B&B's, and other places to stay. She even starts thinking about the cafes she will visit, the French wine and dishes she will enjoy while she is there.
After a few weeks of pretty in depth research, she packages it all together. All she has to do as this point is pay, and go.
So she gets some unexpected vacation days in a month's time. The thrill and spontaneity of it are exciting to her. She is still afraid to travel alone. There have been numerous stories of rapes and murders in Paris as of late. But she tells herself:

I can always back out at the last minute if something doesn't feel right

So she clicks a few buttons and it is a done deal. Her flight leaves this Friday morning and she will be in Paris by Friday night at 10PM! Her fantasies are flooding her brain, so she doesn't get much done that week at work.
Then she realizes she needs the right dress. Oh, then there are shoes. And of course a girl must have matching intimate apparel. Come to think of it, her suitcase is looking a bit old and ratty.
So off he goes to the mall.
It is Tuesday night. So she might as well start thinking about excursions. Perhaps a boat tour down the Seine. Notre Dame, the L'Arc de Triomphe, and of course the Tour Eiffel.
OMG this vaca is going to be L I T !
She can feel the butterflies already.
But she completely forgot the gifts she will bring back. Maybe a bar of exotic chocolate for her niece, then a bottle of wine for sis - "that bitch is a drunk anyway, HA!" She thinks to herself. So she makes a list.
As she is thinking, she decides to call mom for some ideas.
She tells her mom and dad about her plan. Her Dad sounds concerned. "Honey, things are different over there than they were back in my time. A lot of immigrants have flooded...."
"Dad. Stop being a racist. I appreciate your concern, but those migrants are poor people and they deserve our sympathy"
"Honey, please. Please put that political lens away for just a minute...I..."
"Dad. Just stop. I love you, but you are SUCH a white male it kills me sometimes. Ha ha! I know you love me, but I will be fine."
"Okay sweetie. I love you too. Just please be extra cautious. Watch where you go, watch how you dress, and remember situational awareness. Please."
"Dad, you did NOT just tell me how to dress!"
Mom chimes in "Harry. Stop being so old fashioned. The times have changed. Things are different now" She will be juuuuuust fine!
Dad's heart sinks in his chest. He knows that he has failed to instill the proper amount of caution and street smarts in his daughter. He let his wife win too many arguments because "Happy wife, happy life".
He suddenly feels ill in the pit of his stomach.
Caroline is his only child - he loves her more than anything. In fact, more than he loves himself. He would gladly kill or die for her. She is his little pumpkin and early memories come flooding back.
He feels a tear welling up.
He feels silly. She is big now. She is a successful professional and very book smart. Maybe the ladies are right. after all, the world IS more feminine these days. He thinks to himself....
She Will Be Fine
Goodbyes are had, and Caroline has a great list of gifts. They hang up and she gets ready for bed.
Suddenly at about 2:00AM her brain decides to get some ideas flowing (I know, right!) she bolts upright
HOLY CRAP. My passport!
Where is it? How could I forget my freaking passport. So she scrambles around in a panic for an hour in the dark of night, and finally finds it in that box. We all have that box.
It is expired.
FUUUUUUUU.....
She looks online and finds that there is no way to get a passport done in three days. But there is an ad at the bottom. "Experienced Lawyers can get your passport renewed in 48 hours. Click for more information"
So she does.
Lo and behold, the law firm Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe specializes in passport renewal. They "know people".
And sure enough, two days later, on Thursday, everything is in place.
That Friday morning she gets up, gets dressed and even gets on some makeup. She shaved her, well, everything, for the trip.
Because "Ya never know!" (tee hee hee, wink wink)
Uber shows up and off she goes.
The airport is calmer than last time she remembers. This corona virus thing really put a damper on travel. "Lucky Me" she thinks to herself. She struts down the corridor singing to her head "M M M M MY CORONA" to the tune of "My Sharona"
She laughs. This is going to be a great vacation. She has been thinking about it non stop for a while now.

#THISISHAPPENING!

So she settles in with a good book, orders a drink, and sits back to look out the window. This is so cool.
A long flight later, they land in Paris. The initial excitement has given way to jet lag and a slight hangover from one too many gin and tonics. That airplane air is dry AF!
She happens to be the last person to leave the plane.
At the threshold, as she approaches the pilot and stewardess, she gets hit by a powerful panic attack. All the stories about rapes and murders of young women throughout Europe come flooding into her head. She has seen many photos and all those girls look just like her.
She is riveted to her spot and she feels the blood drain out her her body.
"What should I do!" She thinks. She is frozen with fear.
The stewardess smiles and asks "Honey, are you okay?"
Caroline explains what she is thinking and feeling and the pilot says "Look. A crew is going to come in and clean up the plan. After fuel and a few systems check, this plane is going right back home. You don't even have to leave the lounge. I will pull some strings and we can get you some credit from your round trip ticket. How does that sound?"
She thinks for a second and says "Yeah. Okay, yes. Thank you"
So she sits right outside in the crew waiting area. The stewardess comes up to her and chats with her for a while. "Honey, I know you're scared. I went through the same thing twice my first week on the job! I thought I was going to puke"
They both let out a chuckle.
"Look. Let me escort you to your taxi. I will check in on you later to make sure you're okay. You came this far, why stop now? You got this girl!"
She was so sweet, so confident, and so reassuring. Caroline wished this were her big sister, for a moment.
"You're right!" Caroline replies.
"Are you sure you have everything?" Caroline looks back. She smiles and says "Yes, I think I am good. Thank you. I think I can manage from here. Listen, thanks a lot. I just got last minute jitters"
And off she went. She scrambles through the baggage line and gets a cab outside and it takes her to her hotel.
After a free drink (or two, if we're being honest) at the hotel bar, she gets to her room, showers up, and prepares to head out into the late Paris night.
Now she feels pumped up. She puts on some hot red lipstick (named FrenchFloozie) she found on GoingtoParisWootWoot.com, she puts on that small (too short, if we're being honest) red dress she got from BigMistakes.com, and a pair of her finest red pumps from wishIwercarriebradshaw.com. Two squirts of French perfume (four, if we're being honest) from LeBoutiqueCFM.com, and off she goes into the dark, sultry, Parisian summer night.

#Endlesspossibilities.

.
.
.
Two days later, she wakes up in a hospital bed. She hurts all over. Especially "down there" ALL of "down there"
WTF! Where am I? What happened?!
She struggles a bit and in walks a nurse. In a strong French accent she says "Relax Cah-rho-leen. You argoween to be okay, Okay?"
Shortly afterwards, the police show up. They explain to her that she has been attacked by a group of "Asian Teenagers" while walking in the park. She has mild amnesia, but she will be fine. they reassure her.
"You wheelbee fine" the nurse adds comfortingly.
Fast forward a few days, and she lands in the US. Her parents are there at the airport to pick her up. After hugs and crying, and a lot of awkward silence, her Dad speaks up in the long car ride home.
"Sweetie. I am sorry this happened to you. I won't ask you for details unless you want to share them. But please. What can you tell us?"
She recounts what she can remember. Walking around Champs Elysee, ubering across town to see the lights, then walking from Rue de Saint-Denis over to see the Larc des Chanteraines. And that's all she can remember. It was dark, and she was a bit buzzed (a bit drunk, if we're being honest).
She tells her parents about the incident at the airport. How they offered her a ride back home. The nice stewardess who helped her.
She musters the courage to show them the photos from the crime scene and the hospital.
Her dad shudders and mom gasps and starts sobbing. Dad becomes enraged, and decides to speak up...
"Honey, I TOLD You how bad it was over there. And LOOK at how you were dressed! What the hell were you thinking! This was my WORST FEAR and now we all have to deal with it. You had a chance to come back home. Why didn't you get back on that plane? Why did you walk out of the airport door! WHY!"
And Dad breaks down in tears. He knows his daughter is gone. This woman in his back seat is a new woman. She will never be the perky, happy-go-lucky woman she once was. She will never be his little girl in the same way she was. Its not that he won't see her that way. It's how she will view men going forward.
His wife gasps audibly in horror!
"Harry! How DARE you!"
Harry pipes up boldly (too little, too late, if we're being honest)
"Shut up Karen!"
Honey, why didn't you just take the pilot up on his offer!?" Dad blurts out..
Caroline chimes in:

"Dad, you don't understand how hard it is to say no sometimes. What was I supposed to do? Just GO BACK HOME! You just don't get it"

They all choke back tears of anger, regret, sadness, and fear of what this will mean for all of them going forward.
Powerful emotions.
Harry thinks about the thousands of little steps going back to the decision to travel alone, from the tickets, to the passport, the luggage, etc, etc, etc. This was not ONE decision, it was a long series of small decisions and choices. A thousand little chances to avoid this mess.
Everything from matching clothing to the situation, to where NOT to go as a lone female traveler. He knows that if he were to even raise these obvious basic tenets of street smarts, it would just result in an even bigger meltdown at this point. It is already bad enough, he thinks. "I should have spoken up years ago", he thinks quietly to himself.
He has failed as a father and regret fills his soul.
Ultimately, he concedes: "This is MY fault"
So concludes our sad (deeply disturbing, if we're being honest) tale of Caroline.
If you ever wonder what has become of Caroline. She recently became a member of a feminist group that seeks to empower women and pressure schools into teaching parents and children that ALL boys are rapists subconsciously. Her organization calls for mandating "implicit rapist awareness" training (indoctrination, if we're being honest) for boys in middle school, to teach them how to deal with inner rapist thoughts that they don't even know they have.
Sadly, this is the world we are living in folks.
Enjoy your day, or evening, or bourbon (if we're being honest)
submitted by DeeplyDisturbed1 to WhereAllTheGoodMenAre [link] [comments]


2020.07.11 06:33 MopeyLoser M17 and I’m afraid to go against my mom

It’s been almost a year with me a M17 and my white girlfriend F18, we got together last year October 18th. We met online and we barely met in person the times we have met was her being my homecoming date, breaks i have at work and or me sneaking out pretending i was working but going to visit her but me going out does not happen often. We call on discord and FaceTime almost everyday because that’s the only time I had even before COVID hit the United States I was never allowed to go out to anywhere because of my Vietnamese mom just never letting me go out, turned me down all the times I asked to go out and the only times I went out is when an asian friend was there to be able to speak Vietnamese and or Cantonese to her. I barely have any asian friends and I only went out a couple times in my life time. And even then when I went out they have to have someone there to supervise me
for example I went to a friends birthday party at the mall which was like a small hang out only because my mom was in the mall too, waited out the 5 whole hours I was there and drove me home when I needed to and that was the only time i ever been "out" and i was 16 at the time it was because there was one Vietnamese friend there and that was it.
the more time i was with my girlfriend on the phone and or just on the computer my mom would complain about it and say its "that girl again". Talking to monks from Vietnam whenever anything does not go her way. going on tantrums over it, leaving the house and coming back. going as far as even if i were to keep dating her my entire life would go into shambles because of a prediction from Buddhist monks. My mom has started to take my phone away at nights because i would sleep in call with her sometimes. now i have stopped and she still takes it away from me. assuming i call her 24/7 when i need to take my phone back from them to check on my job and or my schooling in the canvas app. i would never realized how sheltered i was and how horrible my mom is without my girlfriend she means the world to me and i want to be with her. my mom wants me to date only asian girls to be able to "understand our culture" but i dont want that i just want a person that makes me happy. as i talk about this with her it just gives her stress and anxiety knowing that my mom not accepting her and that it just makes me anxious with her presence and or talking against her. As I was thinking about our anniversary that’s coming up soon I was crying to the thought that if I went out without my moms permission she would like yell at me and or hit me that thought just gave me fear and put me to tears i got extremely anxious. I talked to my sister and hopefully my other siblings soon about this and she says I have trauma from my mom. I dont know what to do. i still want to go out and celebrate at least my anniversary with my girlfriend but at the same time the fear can just almost petrify me in my footsteps she would beat me when i got out of line and my other siblings too.
it was scaring to me seeing my sisters getting beat right in front of me and to just shoo me back inside of my room and or making me watch in tears. she stopped only because of a CPS (child protective services) visit but she just complains more behind my back on how stupid i am and even ease drops on my conversations i have in my own room. the only way i knew about that was beacause my siblings told me that mom told them to "talk some sense into me" also my mom telling me she ease drops on me as well. its just jaring to me and i dont know what to do. we are in a pandemic and there is my anniversary coming up that is very important to my girlfriend and me i just dont know what to do.
submitted by MopeyLoser to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.07.11 06:28 MopeyLoser M17 and I’m afraid to go against my mom

It’s been almost a year with me a M17 and my white girlfriend F18, we got together last year October 18th. We met online and we barely met in person the times we have met was her being my homecoming date, breaks i have at work and or me sneaking out pretending i was working but going to visit her but me going out does not happen often. We call on discord and FaceTime almost everyday because that’s the only time I had even before COVID hit the United States I was never allowed to go out to anywhere because of my Vietnamese mom just never letting me go out, turned me down all the times I asked to go out and the only times I went out is when an asian friend was there to be able to speak Vietnamese and or Cantonese to her. I barely have any asian friends and I only went out a couple times in my life time. And even then when I went out they have to have someone there to supervise me
for example I went to a friends birthday party at the mall which was like a small hang out only because my mom was in the mall too, waited out the 5 whole hours I was there and drove me home when I needed to and that was the only time i ever been "out" and i was 16 at the time it was because there was one Vietnamese friend there and that was it.
the more time i was with my girlfriend on the phone and or just on the computer my mom would complain about it and say its "that girl again". Talking to monks from Vietnam whenever anything does not go her way. going on tantrums over it, leaving the house and coming back. going as far as even if i were to keep dating her my entire life would go into shambles because of a prediction from Buddhist monks. My mom has started to take my phone away at nights because i would sleep in call with her sometimes. now i have stopped and she still takes it away from me. assuming i call her 24/7 when i need to take my phone back from them to check on my job and or my schooling in the canvas app. i would never realized how sheltered i was and how horrible my mom is without my girlfriend she means the world to me and i want to be with her. my mom wants me to date only asian girls to be able to "understand our culture" but i dont want that i just want a person that makes me happy. as i talk about this with her it just gives her stress and anxiety knowing that my mom not accepting her and that it just makes me anxious with her presence and or talking against her.
As I was thinking about our anniversary that’s coming up soon I was crying to the thought that if I went out without my moms permission she would like yell at me and or hit me that thought just gave me fear and put me to tears i got extremely anxious. I talked to my sister and hopefully my other siblings soon about this and she says I have trauma from my mom. I dont know what to do. i still want to go out and celebrate at least my anniversary with my girlfriend but at the same time the fear can just almost petrify me in my footsteps she would beat me when i got out of line and my other siblings too. it was scaring to me seeing my sisters getting beat right in front of me and to just shoo me back inside of my room and or making me watch in tears. she stopped only because of a CPS (child protective services) visit but she just complains more behind my back on how stupid i am and even ease drops on my conversations i have in my own room. the only way i knew about that was because my siblings told me that mom told them to "talk some sense into me" also my mom telling me she ease drops on me as well.
its just scaring me at this point thinking about it and i dont know what to do. ill have to stay in this house for at least another year or 2 before i can get my Bachelors degree because i was taking running start and im already starting to get sick of my mom getting more annoyed with her but at the same time my fear growing as i keep thinking what she can do when i leave on a whim to like move and or to even visit my friends.
i can move to my girlfriends house after i get my degree and just be there after i get my degree but the thought of my mom just getting mad just scares me and i dont know what to do. as of right now because being in this house just makes me uncomfortable sometimes just with her presence alone, i cant even call my girlfriend at this point without being called out and being berated by both of my parents. my dad though does it he is just annoyed that my mom is complaining so much about it i dont hate and or blame him as much. he connected with me and actually acknowledged my girlfriend and was even complementing her too. my mom has even wanted to destroy my own personal computer that i spent 1000$ dollars on because "it makes my room too warm and it takes up too much space" when i need it for school, work and sometimes games too. just to throw it away. my mom i just dont know what to do.
submitted by MopeyLoser to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]


2020.07.05 05:37 throwRA_gf4578 My GF has become VERY insecure after meeting my ex. What can I do to help her get over it?

I (28m) am South East Asian but grew up in the West. Ive always been shallow when it comes to dating, and I only dated white girls. I don't know why, they were just my type. My first girlfriend was in highschool. She was a typical artsy girl with a very pretty face. In college, my 2nd girlfriend was into beauty pageants and my 3rd was a model. My last GF was a minor Instagram star (around 75k followers). Am I flexing? Not really. This might just be important for later.
So after my last breakup, I went with my parents to a get together with other immigrants from our country. When they heard I was single, one of the father's introduced me to his daughter (now 25f). She's wasnt really the type of girl I would look at twice but to this day I thank my lucky stars I talked to her that night. Once she started opening up, I realized what a beautiful person she is. She was smart, smarter than any girl I've been with and for the first time I felt engaged intellectually. She was a grad student working on her PhD in Microbiology. She also is a genuinely good person and I like who I am when I'm with her. Overall... Best girlfriend I've ever had.
We've been together for the last 2 years and it has been hands down the best relationship I've been in. Even the sex is a lot better with her. I was her first everything but she knows I have exes but we don't really talk about it cause she didn't ask. I love her and I can definitely see a future with her.
So now to the present
A few months ago, before Covid hit, we were hanging out in the mall when one of my exes showed up. She was the beauty pageant gf. We didn't end things on bad terms so we exchanged a few pleasantries and I introduced her to my gf. She left after a few minutes and I thought that was that till we got home (we live together) and my GF started asking a bunch of questions about my other exes.
"We're they as pretty as her?" "Are you settling for me?" "What do you see in me?"
She started demanding I show her pictures of my other exes and when I didn't, she pressed harder till I caved. Wish I didn't cause things got worse. She started crying and asking me if she was really good enough and all that. I tried reassuring her that I loved her a lot more than I loved any of them and that I wouldn't trade her for anything. She seemed to settle down but then Covid hit.
We've been stuck here for the last few months. I can work from home and she's studying online. I've noticed a crap ton of packages coming in and it was filled with Korean beauty products, whitening soaps (we are both brown skinned Asians), a bunch of makeup, and a lot of more "fashionable" clothes. She also started working out (she didn't really need to cause she wasn't fat or anything). She still keeps asking me if I really do love and if I'm really ok with her or if I'd leave her for someone prettier.
Guys, I've tried pretty much everything to reassure her that she's the one I love and that won't change. She's been over the top in the last few months by making me food, picking up more chores, overcompensating in the bedroom, and a bunch of other stuff like that. Guys would think it's the dream but I can see it's taking a toll on her and she might break down eventually.
Guys, I'm lost. What do I do? I really love this woman and Im planning on proposing soon. What can I do to make her see that she's the only one I need and that I wouldn't trade her for anyone? Should I consider therapy?
Please, any advice would be helpful. Thanks and have a great day.
submitted by throwRA_gf4578 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.07.04 17:22 brutalitops-magicusr I ranked every Community Episode!...

I did it, so figured I'd share it, anyone else rank all episodes? I used pubmeeple.com ranking engine, you can enter any data you want and it will give you comparisons to choose from until you have everything sorted.. took me about 4 hours I think...
Of course some could fluctuate based on mood, I will say there are only 2 episodes I skip when they come on, Basic Email Security and Laws of Robotics....
Rank Item
  1. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons The study group plays Dungeons & Dragons with another classmate to lift his spirits, but Pierce's jealousy causes their good intentions to backfire.
  2. G.I. Jeff The study group gets 'animated' in the vein of the 1980s 'G.I. Joe' series.
  3. A Fistful of Paintballs The Greendale Campus becomes a battlefield again with the start of another paintball competition as a mysterious new player debuts. Before they can compete for the prize, however, the study group must deal with a more personal conflict first...
  4. For A Few Paintballs More City College has invaded the Greendale campus as the paintball competition becomes an all-out war between the two schools.
  5. Modern Warfare Greendale Community College becomes a war zone when a paintball competition spirals out of control. Meanwhile, the sexual tension flares up between Jeff and Britta.
  6. Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons The gang decides to help Professor Hickey reconnect with his son through a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
  7. Digital Estate Planning Pierce and the study group pay a visit to Hawthorne Enterprises after Pierce is summoned to discuss his inheritance with his deceased father's former right-hand man, Gilbert Lawson. The study group goes with him for moral support and must all pitch in to play the video game of their life on Pierce's behalf - or risk losing his inheritance.
  8. Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps When Britta discovers that an anonymous personality test suggests that one of them is a homicidal maniac, she convinces each of the study group members to tell a scary story in order to determine who the possible killer is.
  9. Pillows And Blankets What started as a casual disagreement about blankets and pillows blossoms into all-out war on the Greendale campus.
  10. Documentary Filmmaking: Redux Dean Pelton is asked by the school board to film a new commercial for Greendale Community College; Abed films all the activities for a documentary.
  11. Celebrity Pharmacology 212 Pierce tries to bribe Annie for a larger role in her anti-drug play. Jeff has to clean up a mess after he sends dirty texts using Britta's phone, and Shirley rejects Chang's attempts to be friendly.
  12. Heroic Origins Convinced that the study group was destined to meet, Abed pieces together everyone's past -- revealing that their lives have always been intertwined; Chang tries to destroy Greendale once and for all.
  13. Studies in Modern Movement The study group helps Annie move her belongings into Troy and Abed's apartment. Meanwhile, Jeff is blackmailed by Dean Pelton into spending time with him at the mall.
  14. Beginner Pottery Jeff takes beginner pottery for an easy credit but winds up becoming jealous of another student. Meanwhile, Pierce's incompetence could ruin the study group's grade in boating class.
  15. Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design Dean Pelton tries to bust Jeff for a phony night school credit, but he only unveils a series of conspiracies, plots, and double-crosses between Annie, Jeff, and the Dean. Meanwhile, Troy and Abed build an elaborate blanket fort.
  16. Contemporary American Poultry Jeff's plan for getting school cafeteria chicken fingers for the study group quickly evolves into a mafia movie-style endeavor, thanks to Abed.
  17. App Development and Condiments Dean Pelton lets two designers test their new social networking application at Greendale leading to the creation of a rank based society on campus.
  18. Basic Rocket Science Everyone in the study group except for Abed is stuck in a crude 1980's space simulator as it is towed off campus. Dean Pelton gives Abed the difficult assignment of bringing them home
  19. Conventions of Space and Time The study group heads to InspecTiCon– the annual Inspector Spacetime Convention. Trouble begins when the group meets up with Abed's email pen-pal, Toby Davies whose shared passion for Inspector Spacetime comes between Abed and Troy. Meanwhile, Annie leaves the convention floor to enjoy the luxuries of the hotel while Jeff relaxes in the bar with Lauren.
  20. Geothermal Escapism Abed stages an epic, high stakes competition in honor of Troy who is preparing to leave Greendale.
  21. Mixology Certification The group takes Troy out to a bar to celebrate his 21st birthday While they're there, Annie adopts a new identity, Abed is hit on by a guy, one of Shirley's darkest secrets is revealed, and Jeff and Britta fight over which of their bars is cooler.
  22. Basic Sandwich The Save Greendale Committee goes on a treasure hunt to stop Subway's takeover of the school.
  23. Cooperative Calligraphy When Annie's pen goes missing she suspects someone in the study group to be the thief and a lockdown in the study room is imposed to find the culprit.
  24. Investigative Journalism The study group decided to not let an obnoxious student from their Spanish class into their study group (guest star Jack Black). Jeff is appointed as the new editor of the school newspaper, while Annie is working on a case that could prove the Dean as racist.
  25. Geography of Global Conflict With the help of Jeff and the study group, Annie faces off against a new rival in a model UN showdown. Meanwhile, newly appointed security guard Chang must deal with Britta, who has returned to her activist ways.
  26. Digital Exploration of Interior Design A new Subway shop opens in the cafeteria, and Shirley, Pierce, and Britta attempt to sabotage it. Meanwhile, Troy and Abed build competing blanket forts.
  27. Debate 109 Jeff is convinced to join the debate team with Annie for a championship debate against Greendale's rival school City College. Meanwhile, Shirley gets spooked by the accuracy of Abed's short films of the study group which seem to predict their future.
  28. Remedial Chaos Theory The study group is invited to Troy and Abed's apartment for a housewarming party, and six different scenarios unfold based on the roll of a Yahtzee die.
  29. Origins of Vampire Mythology Annie, Troy, and Abed try to help Britta avoid an old flame who has returned to town while Jeff and Shirley set out to catch a glimpse of the mystery man. Elsewhere, Laybourne turns to Dean Pelton for help with his pursuit of Troy.
  30. Accounting for Lawyers Jeff blows off the study group and their break dancing competition to hang out with his old co-workers at the law firm. Annie tries to prove that Alan (guest star Rob Corddry) is the person who turned Jeff in and got him fired.
  31. Grifting 101tWhen a clever con man uses his class to cheat the committee they enlist Jeff to get revenge.
  32. Early 21st Century Romanticism Valentine's Day finds Troy and Abed competing for the attention of an assistant librarian, and Britta tries to prove how progressive she is. Meanwhile, Jeff gets into a fight with the study group and takes a break from them.
  33. Contemporary Impressionists Jeff begins experiencing extreme narcissism. The group helps Abed get out of debt by impersonating various celebrities at a Bar Mitzvah.
  34. Anthropology 101 Jeff and Britta engage in a dangerous game of relationship one-upmanship in response to Britta's embarrassing moment at the end of the previous school year, which could lead to the break up of the study group
  35. Communication Studies Jeff tries to fix his relationship with Britta when things get awkward after a drunken phone call. Meanwhile, Annie and Shirley set out to humiliate Señor Chang in order to protect the pride of Troy and Pierce.
  36. Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas Abed wakes up to find out that everything is rendered in stop motion animation. Professor Duncan and the study group try to help Abed discover the true meaning of Christmas.
  37. VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing A hidden stash of textbooks is uncovered; Abed and Annie play a game to determine their new roommate.
  38. Regional Holiday Music After the Greendale Glee Club is sidelined, Abed falls under the influence of its musical director Cory Mr.Rad Radisson and gradually recruits the other members of the study group to replace them in the upcoming the Holiday Musical.
  39. Wedding Videography The committee attends Garrett's wedding while Abed films the event as a mockumentary.
  40. Intro to Knots Summary: When Jeff organizes a holiday gathering at his apartment, Annie secretly invites Professor Cornwallis. After learning Professor Cornwallis intends to give them a bad grade on their joint history the group takes decisive action.
  41. Intro to Recycled Cinema While Chang leaves Greendale to pursue fame in Hollywood, Abed agrees to complete his unfinished film aided by Frankie, her movie producer friend Maury and Jeff.
  42. Epidemiology The study group is left to fend for themselves during a mysterious outbreak due to tainted food at Greendale's Halloween party.
  43. Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations Shirley (Yvette Nicole Brown) hosts an awkward gathering at her place with the study group, while Jeff winds up at the house of his father, whom he hasn’t seen since he was a child, and a different kind of discomfort ensues.
  44. Advanced Introduction to Finality Jeff achieves enough credits to graduate and contemplates graduation - and beyond. Meanwhile, the study group revisits the darkest timeline.
  45. Intro to Felt Surrogacy The study group takes a wild balloon ride that crash lands in the woods, and they end up spending some quality time together meeting a friendly Mountain man and sharing their most terrible secrets with each other.
  46. Introduction to Film October 1, 2009 Britta messes with Abed's relationship with his father, which potentially risks Abed having to leave Greendale. Meanwhile, Jeff might end up failing a class unless he seizes the day.
  47. First Chang Dynasty The study group mobilizes to save Greendale and rescue a captive Dean Pelton from Chang who, along with his security force, has taken over the school. Meanwhile, Troy turns to the Air Conditioning Repair Annex to get assistance for their plans.
  48. Emotional Consequences of Broadcast TelevisiontAs the latest semester ends, Abed asks everyone to imagine pitching a TV show about next year.
  49. Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples Shirley asks Abed to make a film about Jesus, but she is quickly angered when Abed turns it into a self-indulgent mess. Meanwhile, Pierce blows off the study group to hang out with hipsters.
  50. Economics of Marine Biology Dean Pelton sets his sights on a wealthy potential student and enlists Jeff, Britta and Annie to help in his recruiting efforts. Meanwhile, Abed begins a new Greendale fraternity, while Troy and Shirley begin a physical education instruction class, in which Shirley excels and Troy struggles.
  51. Basic RV Repair and Palmistry While on a road trip to get rid of a Greendale artifact, Abed turns the situation into a feature film.
  52. Paradigms of Human Memory The study group assembles their twentieth- and final- Anthropology diorama of the year. When Troy's monkey reappears and subsequently disappears into a ventilation shaft, the group starts reminiscing about their year together.
  53. Aerodynamics of Gender Britta, Annie, and Shirley discover that Abed is skilled at insulting the mean girls, so they use him to their advantage. Meanwhile, Troy and Jeff find a secret garden with a trampoline, which they use for relaxation.
  54. Comparative Religion” Shirley throws a Christmas party, but to her surprise, the rest of the study group all come from different religious backgrounds. Meanwhile, Jeff is off to fight against the school bully.
  55. Intro to Political Science Anticipating a visit from the Vice President of the United States, Dean Pelton holds an election for student body president. An idealistic Annie decides to run, but Jeff decides to run against her to spite her and show how stupid politics can be.
  56. Virtual Systems Analysis Annie and Abed spend some quality time together in the Dreamatorium for a simulation of Inspector Spacetime. The exercise takes a turn toward the serious, however, with examinations of the study group and insight into Abed's personality.
  57. Advanced Gay Pierce discovers that Hawthorne Wipes have become popular in the gay community and launches a new product to capitalize on it. Meanwhile, Troy is offered entry into the secret society of air conditioning repair.
  58. Herstory of Dance When Dean Pelton plans a Sadie Hawkins dance at Greendale, Britta plans a competing Sophie B. Hawkins dance in protest, but the joke is on Britta who has confused Sophie B. Hawkins with Susan B. Anthony.
  59. Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich ArtstAndre re-proposes to Shirley and Britta and Annie quickly begin making arrangements for the wedding. Jeff must write a speech, and Troy and Abed attempt to become normal for the wedding. Pierce and Shirley try to get a sandwich shop installed in the cafeteria.
  60. Critical Film Studies Jeff and the group arrange a Pulp Fiction birthday party for Abed, but he has his own plans, starting with an expensive dinner for himself and Jeff.
  61. Spanish 101tSeptember 24, 2009 Jeff's efforts to win over Britta backfire, and he finds himself paired up with Pierce for their Spanish class project.
  62. Basic Intergluteal Numismatics A campus investigation into a serial bandit leads to a surprising confession which Jeff finds suspicious.
  63. Pilot September 17, 2009 A smarmy lawyer whose education is deemed void by the bar is forced to attend a local community college with an extremely eclectic staff and student body in order to get a legitimate degree.
  64. Competitive Ecology The study group spends the entire night trying to decide their lab partners while Greendale's newest campus security guard Ben Chang investigates a vast conspiracy.
  65. Basic Lupine Urology In an homage to Law & Order', the study group investigates a crime when someone sabotages their Biology lab experiment. When they discover the perp, Annie plans on prosecuting them to the fullest extent of Greendale's Code of Conduct.
  66. Introduction to Statistics Jeff blows off Annie's Halloween party in order to have a chance to score with his sexy statistics professor.
  67. Home Economics After Jeff loses his home, he is forced to move in with Abed in his dorm room. When Troy has a date, he asks a jealous Annie to help him prepare, and Pierce becomes the keyboardist for Vaughn's band.
  68. The Politics of Human Sexuality” Annie helps the Dean put on a STD Fair but doesn't want to demonstrate how to put on a condom. Meanwhile, Jeff goes on a double date with Pierce, and Troy and Abed compete to see who is the better athlete.
  69. Analysis of Cork-Based Networking As Annie prepares the cafeteria for the midterm dance, she and Professor Hickey must deal with the head custodian, the head of I.T. and the head of parking.
  70. History 101 The Study Group returns from summer break ready to tackle their fourth year of Community College. Jeff is focused on graduating and is just a few credits away. When there is a mix-up with a history class registration, Dean Pelton institutes an elaborate physical competition for class space. Meanwhile, Britta helps Abed deal with the anxiety he is experiencing over the thought of the study group graduating and breaking up.
  71. Modern Espionage A secret paintball assassin game is played on the Greendale campus.
  72. The Psychology of Letting Go Pierce's religion convinces him that the spirit of his dead mother is captured in a cheap lava lamp, and Jeff has a crisis of faith when he learns he has high cholesterol. Meanwhile, Britta and Annie try to raise money for an oil spill.
  73. Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care As Jeff and Frankie look to extract Dean Pelton from his expensive virtual reality world, Britta uncovers an uncomfortable truth about her parents George and Deb and her friends' generosity.
  74. Physical Education Jeff's refusal to wear gym shorts causes him to be kicked out of billiards class. The study group tries to get Abed to romance a girl.
  75. Basic Human Anatomy When Annie and Shirley learn that Leonard is actually holding the spot as the class valedictorian, they join forces to bring him down. Meanwhile, Troy and Abed reminisce about one of their favorite body switching films things start to get a little funky at Greendale.
  76. Introduction to Teaching Professor Hickey helps Jeff settle into his new job at Greendale; Abed convinces the study group to take a class focused on Nicolas Cage.
  77. Advanced Documentary Filmmaking As the campus strives to get to the bottom of Chang’s memory loss, Dean Pelton enlists the group to help secure a grant for further medical research and Abed films the activities for a documentary. Jeff, however, suspects there is more to Chang’s memory loss than meets the eye.
  78. Curriculum Unavailable After the study group's expulsion from school, Abed becomes convinced that Dean Pelton is an impostor. When he is caught on the Greendale campus investigating him, he is forced to receive psychiatric treatment from Dr. Heidi or face trespassing charges.
  79. Paranormal Parentage While on their way to Vicki’s Halloween costume party, the study group makes a detour to Pierce’s mansion when they learn he accidentally locked himself in his panic room. As Pierce languishes behind locked doors, the group searches the dark and eerie house for the book that holds the code to the door. Along the way, they encounter a few of the house’s secrets.
  80. Environmental Science Jeff hangs out with Señor Chang to get out of writing an essay, which angers the rest of the group. Meanwhile, Abed and Troy search for their missing lab mouse, and Pierce helps Shirley out with a presentation.
  81. Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking Upset that he's not getting the respect he feels he deserves, Pierce claims that he is about to die and summons the study group to the hospital to bequeath personalized gifts unto them while Abed documents the entire event.
  82. Competitive Wine Tasting When a beautiful woman rejects him in favor of Pierce, Jeff is convinced she must have ulterior motives. Meanwhile, Troy invents a painful childhood memory in order to attract Britta, and Abed feuds with his professor over Who's the Boss?
  83. Advanced Criminal Law When someone from the study group confesses to using a crib sheet on the last Spanish test and is about to be expelled for it, Jeff uses his lawyer skills to help defend the cheater. Meanwhile, Annie recruits Pierce to write a new school song.
  84. Football, Feminism and You Jeff is blackmailed by Dean Pelton to recruit Troy to Greendale's football team upsetting Annie. Meanwhile, Pierce helps the Dean make a new school mascot, and Britta tries to become Shirley's bathroom buddy.
  85. Basic Story The Save Greendale Committee learns they did their job too well and now the school is up for sale.
  86. Pascal's Triangle Revisited As the school year ends, Jeff finds himself caught in the middle as Slater and Britta compete for his affection. Meanwhile, Troy can't understand Abed's refusal for them to move in together.
  87. The Science of Illusion Britta's April Fool's joke on Chang goes horribly wrong. Meanwhile, Annie and Shirley temporarily work as campus security guards, but they both want to be the bad cop.
  88. Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality Jeff helps Duncan romance Britta; Britta runs into some old anarchist friends and discovers they've moved on; Abed accidentally destroys some of Hickey's drawings; Chang has a supernatural experience.
  89. Social Psychology As Annie recruits Abed and Troy for a psychology class experiment, Jeff and Shirley bond over their mutual fondness for gossip. Meanwhile, Jeff tries to navigate the friend zone with Britta.
  90. Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing Dean Pelton is asked to lie; Chang auditions for a stage adaptation of The Karate Kid.
  91. Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism After Jeff challenges three transfer students to a Foosball game he asks Shirley to train him for the game. Annie accidentally breaks Abed's new special edition of The Dark Knight DVD.
  92. Ladders Dean Pelton hires an administrative consultant to put things in order at Greendale, pitting Abed against Jeff, Britta, and Annie.
  93. Alternative History of the German Invasion The study group begins their European History class with Professor Noel Cornwallis where they meet again the arrogant German students from last season. Meanwhile, much to Dean Pelton’s dismay, Chang makes his return to campus.
  94. Basic Crisis Room Decorum The Greendale gang goes on the offensive when a rival college releases an attack ad.
  95. The Art of Discourse Pierce gets kicked out of the study group while Jeff and Britta plot revenge on a group of high-schoolers. Troy helps Abed complete his checklist of college cliches.
  96. Basic Genealogy It's Family Day at Greendale. Pierce tries to rebuild his relationship with his stepdaughter, but she only has eyes for Jeff. Britta gets in trouble with Troy's Nana, and Shirley's kids cause problems for Abed's father.
  97. Repilot” Jeff returns to Greendale to help his former law partner gather evidence for a lawsuit; thinking Jeff is planning to help save the school, Dean Pelton calls the study group back together.
  98. Cooperative Polygraphy A man called Mr. Stone who has connections to Pierce administers a lie-detector test to the study group.
  99. Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy The study group organizes a baby shower for Shirley while she tries to keep Chang out of her life. Britta is interested in Abed and Troy's new friend, Lukka, who, as it turns out, has a dark past.
  100. Asian Population Studies Annie pushes for her latest crush to join the study group much to Jeff's discomfort. Meanwhile, Shirley announces that she is pregnant, but is unaware that it could be Chang's baby.
  101. Advanced Safety Features An ex-boyfriend lures Britta into joining Honda’s guerilla marketing campaign; Jeff wants Elroy to like him.
  102. Course Listing Unavailable As the study group comes to terms with the death of a classmate, Britta acts as grief counselor to the study group. Meanwhile, Chang is on a mission to increase his policing powers at the school.
  103. Introduction to Finality 'Shirley and Pierce have a disagreement over their sandwich shop leading to a showdown between their lawyers Jeff and his former colleague Alan Connor in the Greendale Summer Fun Court. Meanwhile, Vice Dean Laybourne tells Troy about his destiny at the Air Conditioning Repair Annex.
  104. Romantic Expressionism When Annie starts dating Britta's ex-boyfriend Vaughn, Britta and Jeff conspire to break them up. Meanwhile, Pierce joins Troy, Abed, Shirley, and Chang for movie night.
  105. Interpretive Dance Britta and Troy hide a secret talent from the group while Jeff tries to hide his love life.
  106. Biology 101tThe study group enrolls in a new class while dealing with the return of Pierce as well as Jeff's increasingly erratic behavior. Meanwhile, Dean Pelton decides to assert his authority over Vice Dean Laybourne and the Greendale Air Conditioning Annex.
  107. Laws of Robotics & Party Rights Jeff squares off against a charming prison inmate Willy who’s attending Greendale via telerobot. Britta enlists Abed to get around Annie’s rules against parties in their apartment.
  108. Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts Shirley goes into labor in Anthropology class and Britta must step up to help her friend. Meanwhile, Pierce decides to buy Troy and Abed's patented handshake
  109. Basic Email Security A hacker threatens to share everyone's personal emails if a racist comedian is performs at Greendale.
  110. English as a Second Language The study group's preparation for their finals is made even more stressful when Señor Chang gets replaced by a tougher Spanish teacher. Meanwhile, Troy discovers that he has a hidden talent for plumbing.
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2020.07.03 18:29 efa___ I Can Make You Hot!: The Supermodel Diet (by Kelly Killoren Bensimon) -- Part Two

I hope you all have taken full advantage of the past 48 hours or so to regain some sense of normalcy after our adventures through Part 1 of Kelly Killoren Bensimon's I Can Make You Hot! Without further ado, Part Two:
I resume my journey through the truly incomprehensible mind of Kelly Bensimon with a chapter entitled, "Thursday: Tricks of My Trade." Now that we've learned about the basic building blocks of hotness, Kelly promises to share even more hard-earned advice to help us really kick things up a notch. And, as she reassures us:
I'm actually glad for the mistakes I've made because anyone who doesn't make mistakes doesn't learn, and if you don't learn, you're boring!
And if you're boring, you're not HOT! I think I'm starting to get the hang of this!
One of Kelly's most important life lessons came at her first horse show, when she made an unbelievably devastating misstep: "I decided to have an egg on a bagel from the food-service van." What kind of unimaginable ripple effects did this poor decision set off? I continue on to learn that Kelly "did all right in the competition." And…that's literally the whole story. Kelly legitimately refers to this as "one of my biggest lessons," as it taught her "to never eat more than I normally would." If life-changing breakthroughs were this easily sparked in my own life, I can't even begin to imagine how self-actualized I would be at this point.
At this point in my reading, I have reached the book's first insert, which contains about a dozen glossy color photos from various phases of Kelly's life. Unfortunately, I am far too preoccupied by this picture, in which a carefree, wind-swept Kelly clenches her infant daughter under one arm with all the grace of an NFL wide receiver, to pay the rest of the spread much mind.
We continue on as Kelly introduces new dimensions to the basic tips she's previously introduced. For example, you may have had some vague idea that water was important, but Kelly -- always there to help us learn and improve -- digs into the specifics to make sure we're up to date on the HOTtest tricks of the trade:
Staying hydrated is important no matter what you're doing, so I always try to drink eight glasses or about a liter of water a day. Soda isn't water. Coffee isn't water. Water is water. Drink throughout the day; don't try to get it all down at once. You wouldn't drown an orchid, so don't drown yourself.
I am putting in my formal request for a Public Service Announcement in this format, but using the last line of that passage. Also, Kelly clearly does not know how poorly I tend to my houseplants.
The next page informs us that, "hot isn't just caliente; it's also spicy and sultry." Kelly promptly launches into yet another list of miscellaneous grocery items, this time focused specifically on "red-hot foods." Except it includes entries like "popcorn with sugar and cinnamon," and "Mike and Ike candy," so I'm not convinced Kelly didn't just lose track of the thread entirely by the time we got a few items in. However, this does seem like an appropriate time to introduce this picture, from the book's second photo insert, which clearly depicts the sleep paralysis demon that has haunted my dreams for the past several nights. We're also treated to this chapter's first "hot button issue" panel, in which Kelly pulls back the curtain on the shadowy, pro-salt cabal trying to control us all with their anti-sodium legislative agenda:
We keep reading about how bad sodium is for our health, but if you eat fresh foods that you prepare yourself, you can determine and control the amount of salt you want to use. I, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, am perfectly capable of deciding how much salt I want to put on my food. I don't need anyone else to salt my food for me. I know that the amount of salt I choose to sprinkle on my food is not going to hurt me.
I read on to find a two-page spread in which Kelly expounds, in rhapsodic praise to rival that of Song of Solomon, upon her ardor for her beloved dehydrator -- "I though I was in love with coffee, but now I think my dehydrator is my truest love." Most of the passage is taken up by an unstructured list of the various things Kelly has attempted to dehydrate ("cucumber," "mangoes," "avocado") but she does manage to squeeze in a few infomercial-ready lines -- "Really, you should buy one; I promise you won't be sorry."
Since repetition is the key to reinforcing new concepts, I appreciate that Kelly's next list (of "a few more lean tricks I've learned along the way") repeats a note she originally relayed to us just a few pages ago:
Drink water throughout the day (not all at one sitting).
She's also been thoughtful enough to provide a list of resources for us to use as we soldier on along the perilous journey to HOT. After all, as Kelly says, "I don’t expect you to carry this book wherever you go -- as much as I would love that." As someone who has never before ventured into the wild world of cyberspace, I really appreciated Kelly introducing me to so many fun, useful websites that I might want to check out! In case you, too, just haven't figured out how to navigate this whole Internet thing, I've included a few examples below:
www.amazon.com
One-stop shopping for just about any book, periodical, or product you might want to read or buy in order to get HOT.

www.espn.com
Everything you need to know to stay up to date on any sport.

www.webmd.com
Useful, up-to-date, trustworthy information on medical and health issues.

www.yummly.com
Claims to have "every recipe in the world"
Can't wait to check these out later! That Amazon one sounds super cool!
I'm reminded quickly just how inelegant the transitions in this book are as we move directly from that list into the following:
I suggest that you take a picture of yourself every day…Some days when you're feeling your fattest, you may be surprised to see that you really look great.
Okay, so fat is NOT HOT. Except being comfortable in your body is HOT. And trying to be skinny is NOT HOT. But being skinny is HOT. Thank goodness I still have a few more chapters to go -- I clearly still have a ways to go before I truly understand the logic of HOTness. As it stands, I must admit that I'm a bit baffled.
Of course, returning to the previous bit of advice, Kelly doesn't actually have to worry about taking her own pictures like us plebeians -- "Having been photographed so often has provided me with a permanent retrospective catalogue of my life." The chapter closes with these words of wisdom:
The best kind of vanity is being vain about what you put in your body.
Friday's chapter promises to introduce us to the world of "Hot Couture," and I am excited to see what tips and tricks Kelly has managed to accrue over her lifetime in the cutthroat world of modeling . But first, we abruptly transition to a story about Kelly meeting Madonna shortly after both women had given birth. Kelly had "gained a healthy fifty pounds," which I am led to believe, from the context of the anecdote, is NOT HOT. Madonna, on the other hand, was "flat-stomached" and therefore "HOT and cool." Of course, Kelly reassures us hurriedly that she lost all the weight within the following six weeks and was "actually thinner than I'd been prepregnancy." I am at an utter loss as to what the point of this story could possibly be, but -- blessedly -- Kelly is gracious enough to explain:
So what's the lesson here? That Madonna had personal trainers and chefs to whip her back into shape, and I didn't -- and still don’t. I shouldn't have been comparing myself to her in the first place. My advice to you is: don’t compare yourself to anyone else, only to your own personal best.
This is a perfect example of something Kelly does throughout this book, which is to present a completely reasonable piece of advice (don’t compare yourself to others), but couched within such a bizarre and logically disorganized narrative that by the time I reach the ultimate moral of the story, my brain feels like it's been run through a series of meat grinders, and I'm reduced to just nodding along in bemused acceptance.
We get a "Kelly's Cardinal Rule" reminding us to "let your body be what your body is and be happy with what you've got." I'm starting to wonder if there is some sort of Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde thing going on behind the scenes here, in which two versions of Kelly are frantically grappling over control of the book's body-positivity dial. I'm literally don't even have to flip the page to see Kelly commiserating with us that "we all have days or occasions when we feel fat" and quipping about her "go-to fat outfit." But also:
Stop praying for what you don't have and be grateful for what you've got.
This amount of cognitive dissonance is truly proof that Kelly contains multitudes. Or has recently acquired some sort of debilitating short-term amnesia. Nevertheless, we continue:
But whatever your shape, show it off. Don’t try to hide it. Hiding is not hot.
Kelly next walks us through figuring out which "season" we are, based on the wisdom extolled in "Color Me Beautiful, the groundbreaking book that was so wildly successful in the early 80s." It's no surprise to me that Kelly, who earlier encouraged us to make our lives easier by using our PDAs, finds this to be an exciting new trend to share. Also, in case you weren't aware, "hair color is also important. You can lighten it or darken it or cover the gray." Lighten it or darken it? The boundaries of my mental universe are truly expanding.
Some more fashion tidbits:
Scarves are hippie chic, cool, and always HOT.

If you're narrow, show off how narrow you are with a monochromatic palette.

Ankles are the new cleavage!
Narrow ankles only, I presume. Kelly's selfless, giving nature is highlighted yet again in the following passage, in which she explains:
All these celebrities have stylists who pull the clothes, accessories, and shoes that make them look the way they do. They charge a lot of money for what they do, so why not get some free advice based on my experience.
And what, pray tell, is this coveted advice that Kelly is so lovingly sharing with her readers, free of charge?
  1. Save sweatpants for the gym.
  2. Save PJs for the bedroom.
  3. Dress as if you were the boss.
  4. Remember what Carrie Bradshaw says: "Nothing is casual anymore, even when it says so on the invitation."
  5. Manolo Blahniks are a girl's best friend.
Okay, so far be it from me to complain about the quality of free advice. But. Out of the five pearls of wisdom that make up the "KKBStyle Rules," two of them are rudimentary instructions to wear somewhat-situationally-appropriate clothing, and the other three are the kind of cute sayings that you would find on a piece of poorly bedazzled wall art in the clearance aisle of your local TJMaxx. I'm not impressed.
Kelly next tells us how important it is to eat well and exercise, even "when you're premenstrual or having your period." That way, as she continues on, "you'll feel better because your endorphins will be flowing while your body is sloughing off unwanted endometrium and mucus." To be fair, Unwanted Endometrium does sound like a sick band name.
Thankfully, the mental image of Kelly's mucus slough is promptly booted from my mind by a careening diatribe about the color red (HOT!):
I even painted my nails red the minute I started writing this book. I wanted to see my short red nails tapping away on my Macbook Pro. Almost every red dress is smokin' HOT, and I've never met a guy who doesn't think a woman in a red dress isn't hot. He's a liar if he denies it.
To repeat, Kelly says she's "never met a guy who doesn’t think a woman in a red dress isn't hot." Poor dear got a bit carried away with her negatives, but I'm sure she'll redeem herself in no time:
When I was sitting in the front row of a Marc Jacobs fashion show a few years ago, I wore a full, red short skirt, a tight red sweater, and red open-toed shoes. One of the editors from The New York Times was sitting across from me, and as we were waiting for the show to begin I kept crossing and recrossing my legs to make him laugh.
Sure, Kelly. To make him laugh. I can only assume she must have written some kind of hilariously clever joke on the gusset of her underwear to have had this editor so tickled pink red.
It was a long wait and after a while some guy I didn't know who was at the other end of the row, leapt towards me and screamed that he was obsessed with my feet. How crazy is it that red open-toed shoes and red toenails could create such a reaction. Red is HOT, even stalker HOT. Yikes!
I'm not clear where "stalker HOT" fits into this whole complex web, but it's reassuring to know that a wise soul like Kelly has such a nuanced appreciation of all of the different ways to be hot. She also gives us some "HOT tips for heating up your image." Like,
Put on a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt.

Put your hair in a ponytail.

Put on a pair of hoop earrings.
And also
Wear your jeans a size smaller instead of a size larger.
For some reason not entirely clear to me at this moment, wearing jeans in your actual size does not seem to be an option.
The chapter continues with a reminder to "remember what's on top of your head!"
There's nothing hotter than a HOT head of hair (unless it's a hunky bald guy).
Kelly follows up by offering a list of what she calls "HOT healthy options." Based on the preceding paragraph, you might assume that these tips would have something to do with haircare and hair styling. However, you would be wrong. Instead, we're instructed to:
Enjoy as much watermelon as you like.

Pack a picnic lunch of dehydrated fruit, chamomile iced tea, and mini pizzas made with corn tortillas, cherry tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. Eat your picnic in the park.

Come up with something fun you want to try and do it!
Personally, it seems like a bit of a cop-out to make one of the items on your list of fun things to do "make up your own fun thing to do." But who knows? Maybe cop-outs are HOT!
Before my faith in our fearless leader starts to waver, however, I read on through the end of the chapter, and my surety is promptly restored:
Besides my hair and my legs, the one thing people always ask me about the way I look is how I keep my teeth so white. And yes, that's also a matter of genetics. I'm blessed with the whitest teeth on the planet, and, no, I've never had them professionally bleached.
The weekend begins as I turn the page to the penultimate chapter -- "Saturday: Heat Up Your HOT Image with Healthy Options Today." Saturdays, as Kelly tells us, are for fun activities. For example:
If you're in the mall, go to different stores and figure out which looks will make you HOT. Ask other shoppers for advice.
Also:
Parks are great for people-watching. Who looks fit and healthy?
I sincerely hope that any and all of my friends would give me a stern talking-to if I informed them that my weekend plans consisted of going to a park and…pointing out people I think aren't healthy enough?
Kelly then warns us against overindulging on late-night snacks or alcoholic beverages, lest we wake up Sunday feeling "bloating, sluggish, and with deep regrets." Presumably, Kelly then proceeded to rail a massive line of cocaine and hammer out the following frenetic spiel:
You're not going to get fat from having a few drinks a week. You will get fat if your routine is to drink, eat late, and then lie around watching television the next day, eating and making bad food choices. Going out is fun, but when you sacrifice the next day, it's never fun enough. Don't have regrets; enjoy every day. This is a life plan, and yesterday isn't coming back ever again.
The chapter comes to a close with a reminder to "wrap up every day with a great big bow and be ready for your next adventure. But before we close out our week of HOT, we're provided with what I anticipate will be an incredibly useful reference material for us all, the "KKBfit HOT Quiz." If you'd like to take the quiz yourself, you can find it here. However, I'm not entirely sure I would classify it as a "quiz," since it seems to be mostly a set of questions followed by Kelly's feedback on various possible responses. For example:
  1. How Kelly Green are you?
I had a Kelly Green Juice -- Wasn't it yummy?
I had a smoothie from the health food store with a splash of spinach -- Great choice!
I had kale chips, spinach, and quinoa for dinner last night -- I bet you woke up feeling great this morning!
Other?
I presume that the lack of response after the "Other?" choice is supposed to represent Kelly staring at me in deranged disappointment for a few painfully protracted seconds. Some questions, like the one above, don't seem to have any wrong answers at all. In contrast, other questions have clear wrong answers, which Kelly wastes no time in making apparent:
  1. Are you getting enough protein? How many days did you eat chicken, fish, or meat for at least one meal?
I had a grilled chicken salad for dinner on three different days -- That's good, but I wish you'd get a little more adventurous in your choices.

  1. How KKBfit are you?
Haven't had a meal since last night, but I'm going to skip breakfast and go on a run. I won't eat anything until lunch. -- Sorry, but starving your body is not KKBfit.

  1. Are you drinking enough?
I drink when I'm exercising but that's about it -- Not good enough! Try harder next week.
The quiz ends, leaving me entirely unsure of whether or not I've actually made any forward progress towards my HOTness goals, but the next page does promise help for those who "still need more inspiration." Here, it seems that Kelly has compiled a loose assortment of quotes, most of which (I have a sneaking suspicion) were found by searching the keyword "hot" on BrainyQuote.com. Also, this masterpiece from Kelly's ex-husband, noted fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon:
HOT--
It is not about the look,
It is not only about the charm,
It is the perfect combination:
Sweet and tough,
Sexy and reserved,
Fragile and powerful,
And definitely smart.
-- Gilles Bensimon
Move over, Rupi Kaur! I hope with every fiber of my being that Gilles Bensimon has published his collected poetry in some kind of volume that I could purchase, read, and have, I'm sure, nothing but positive things to say about. After about a dozen similar quotations, Kelly continues:
Now, as you get ready for Sunday Funday, take a few minutes to think about how you define HOT. Has your definition changed or evolved since you started reading this book? If so, I'm doing my job.
In all honesty, my definition of HOT has definitely been…affected by this experience. So we'll call that a win! Kelly tells us a few stories about times when her friends and family members have come to her for guidance on how to be hot. She explains:
I'm not the food police, but I've made myself the Sven-arbiter (as opposed to Svengali) of what's HOT and what's not.
Case in point:
It's just not hot to belong to the clean plate club.
The chapter closes with a list titled "Why Don't You," which I believe is supposed to be a list of fun activities we can try during a Sunday Funday. Or possibly a list of terrible life hacks for stoned college freshmen:
Use an electric teapot as a clothing steamer.

Make grilled cheese sandwiches or press wraps using a hot clothes iron.
There are very few things sadder to me that imagining someone taking Kelly up on this last bit of advice as a fun way to liven up what must be the most preternaturally boring existence possible. If your idea of fun is white bread and Kraft Singles getting slowly warmed over on your clothing iron, I can only imagine the fit of hysterics that you'd be thrown into by a passable Minions meme.
And that brings us to the end of the week. But not -- lucky you! -- to the end of this book. Au contraire -- the remaining 100 pages or so of I Can Make You Hot! feature dozens of unique recipes from the culinary mind of none other than the indomitable Kelly Bensimon herself. In her intro, however, she makes it clear that
No one on earth would ever call me a chef.
Of course not, Kelly -- they'd call you a cook. Otherwise, it's creepy.
This portion of the book begins, reasonably enough, with Breakfasts. These include such thoughtfully named delicacies as "My Favorite Cereal" and "My Favorite Pancakes." The recipe for the latter begins with the following introduction:
I'm not the greatest pancake maker, and I probably never will be. But what I am very good at is thinking of unusual things and doing them.
Frankly, I can't argue with that. As she continues:
When in pancake doubt, have fun, add fruit, and see if pancakes can be a vehicle for creating great memories for your family.
Next time I'm in pancake doubt, I'll know just what to do! We move right along into the Soups and Salads section, and are promptly introduced to Kelly's "Jimmy Achoo's Chicken Soup." Which is apparently a play on Jimmy Choo and also described by Kelly as "filled with veggie exploitation," which sounds terrifying. Of the next recipe, "Rich and Skinny Cauliflower Soup with Kale Chips," Kelly reflects:
I adapted this recipe from one I found on the Internet. I wish I could tell you exactly where, but I can't.
The recipe calls for kale chips, which Kelly goes out of her way to inform us can be purchased "at health food stores and many well-stocked supermarkets." We also get a few general "HOT salad tips" that can be applied to many of the recipes throughout this book, such as
There are so many different types of lettuces available today! Try different ones to see which you like best
and
When you order a salad in a restaurant, ask for the dressing on the side. You're a grown-up and you should get to decide how much you want to use.
With that under our belts, the grown-ups among us move on to "Meat, Chicken, and Fish." In her recipe for "Grilled Rib Eye with Herbes de Provence", Kelly tells us about meeting the famous chef who inspired this dish:
When I met Eric, who was still in his thirties at the time, he still had dark hair. I was caught off guard because I thought all chefs were older, had gray hair, and smelled like garlic.
So perhaps Bethenny should have taken it as a compliment? Kelly continues,
He's since invited me many times to go into his kitchen and cook with him, but my fear of losing a finger by being overzealous has prohibited me from accepting.
It's unclear to me exactly what this means or why Kelly would even be particularly worried about this possibility. Does she have habit of excitedly snatching vegetables out from other people's knives? Does Eric have a reputation for slicing anyone who dares to get in his way? Before I make any headway with this particular mystery, we're introduced to the next recipe, the "Pencil-Thin Skirt Steak." As we learn, "Everyone looks slim in a pencil skirt, so it's only fitting that skirt steak is one of the leanest cuts of beef you can buy." We get a recipe for "Sultry Roast Chicken" in which Kelly shares with us that "in fact, chicken without ginger doesn't taste like chicken to me anymore." This would be more believable if we weren't, a mere two pages later, introduced to a notably ginger-free recipe for "Second-Chance Chicken." As Kelly explains,
I hate the idea of leftovers. To me, eating leftovers means you're too lazy to start over, and I've never wanted my girls to think that we weren't starting fresh.
In the introduction to the recipe for "Bad Girl Wings," Kelly gives us yet another poignant insight into her life as a mother:
These chicken wings are Sea's favorite. I'm sure she loves them because she knows I love wings (she's a cutie like that).
It would obviously be ludicrous to assume that Sea actually enjoys chicken wings authentically. Much more likely that she just loves them because Kelly does. HOT! In a segment labeled "hasta la vista taco bell," Kelly recounts a traumatic experience in which she "discovered that my favorite food choices [at Taco Bell] added up to 580 calories." To me, this seems like a perfectly reasonable amount of calories for one daily meal out of three, but according to Kelly, I am embarrassingly off the mark. Rather, she sighs, "I guess that means my Taco Bell days are over -- unless I decide to chance [sic] Sunday Funday into Fatso Food Day." Not HOT.
Kelly tells us about the creative process behind the development of the next recipe, "Spicy Sultry Shrimp and Mango Stir-Fry" (which, for the record, is the second recipe to have the word "sultry" in its title).
This was one of the first dishes I made when I started to cook -- as a science experiment. My "method" was to think of foods I loved and which ones I thought would go well together.
Fascinating! Think of ingredients you like and combine them into a dish that you will then likely also like! The next recipe, for "Kelly's Kalamari," features the following introduction:
I still love fried calamari, but it doesn't love me. Whenever I eat it, it goes right to my stomach and makes a little pooch -- eww!
As a reminder, this is the same Kelly Bensimon who told us that loving our bodies is HOT and dieting is die + t. But also, eww!
We trek along into the next portion of the recipe book, succinctly titled "Pizza, Pasta, Potatoes, Grains, Vegetables, and Sides." We get a recipe for "Pizzzzzzzza!," which instructs the reader to obtain pizza dough, pizza sauce, mozzerella cheese, salt and pepper. Spread out the dough, add sauce and cheese, and cook! This is yet another time I'm glad Kelly told us early on in this book to take detailed notes -- these kinds of nuanced culinary creations can only come from the mind of a true master.
The same kind of true master who would, as we soon learn, conceive of this particular travesty -- "Pink Pizza." Imagine with me, for a moment, that a dear friend invites you over to their house for dinner. I'm making pizza! they implore you. Come over -- we'll hang out, have a couple beers, catch up on old times! Excited for a chance to relive the glory days, you eagerly accept, only to be met -- upon your arrival -- with this abomination. I thought you said we were having pizza? you sputter nervously. This is pizza, your friend intones, as their eyes slowly fade to black and their hands reach out to wrap themselves around your throat.
Kelly goes on to share a recipe for an "Asian-flavored noodle dish" that she has christened (and it truly pains me to type this), "Me Love You Springtime Noodles." Somewhere, the last ember of hope for humanity quietly fizzles out.
The following recipe, for "Pasta with Oddkavodka Sauce" begins with a warning:
When you make this (especially for children) just be sure you cook off the alcohol so that you aren't serving vodka to minors or have to assign a designated driver for your guests.
This seems like reasonable and conscientious advice. Until I read on and learn that the recipe calls for 1/8 cup vodka, and makes four servings. If your guests need a designated driver after consuming a half-tablespoon of vodka each, I would strongly encourage them to seek medical advice forthwith.
I am reminded once again how different Kelly's and my worlds are with the following exclamation:
Try using quinoa in this recipe instead of the rice -- I call that having your cake and eating it too!
Oh, to live a life in which your most selfish indulgence was quinoa. I suppose this should have prepared me for a few pages later, when Kelly remarks:
Both hummus and guacamole make great toppings for steak or fish. They're my version of béarnaise sauce.
I love hummus. Hummus is great. But there is no possible existing parallel universe in which hummus and béarnaise sauce are interchangeable. One of the final recipes in this section is cryptically titled "Have an Impromptu Pepper Party" and instructs the reader to scoop out the insides of a bell pepper and stuff it with "whatever ingredients suit your fancy." Again, I feel like this fails to meet the definition of an actual recipe, per se, but it is supposedly "quick, fun, and satisfying."
We're nearing the book's end (for real this time) with a section on "Breads and Desserts." This includes an inspirational passage in which Kelly shares a personal anecdote:
On Season 4 of the Real Housewives of New York City, I made a mixed fruit pie for my kids with what was left over in the fruit bowl…Don't be afraid to try new things, make mistakes, and have fun doing it.
I can only hope to someday be brave enough and fearless enough to make a mixed fruit pie.
Blessedly, the final section , titled "Beverages", looks like it might have exactly what I need in the aftermath of finishing this book. The "GIN-Ginger Beertail," for example, which "was originally made with gin, but I don't like serving gin drinks because I think it makes people mean." We also get a recipe for something called "Babylove," which (thankfully) seems unrelated to another of my favorite reality TV cesspools.
It only seems appropriate to share the final recipe of I Can Make You Hot! with all of you. I will definitely be downing approximately seven of these tonight, and I hope some of you will be joining me in spirit. Cheers:
Gummi Bear Martini
If you don't have a paper umbrella handy, Gummi Bears are a great way to put more fun in your drink.
Makes 1 Drink
2 parts orange, grape, or other-flavored vodka
1 part Triple Sec
1 part white grape juice
Splash of cranberry juice
Gummi Bears, as many as you like
Combine the vodka, Triple Sec, grape juice, and cranberry juice in a tall glass. Add ice and fill the glass with Gummi Bears.
ETA: I am so disappointed in myself for forgetting to include that Kelly has a ceviche recipe that instructs you to marinate raw fish in lemon juice for exactly two minutes before serving. In the interest of food safety, perhaps it was for the best that this nugget momentarily slipped my mind, but sharing this information with you all is the burden I have been cursed to bear. 🙏🏼
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2020.07.01 03:48 Xavi25x Should it be a red flag that after a year my gf’s parents still don’t know I exists

Hey Reddit, I (21m) have been in a relationship with my gf (20f) for a year now, however I have mixed feelings about her parents not knowing I’m dating their daughter. I’m black and hispanic while she is asian, she says that she feels like her parents won’t approve of me/won’t like me because of my race because they want her to date/marry someone who is also asian, but at the same time says that she knows her mom will be understanding because she is happy while her dad might not even though she doesn’t have a healthy relationship with her father at all. To make matters a little different is the fact that we are also long distance with her living in Texas and me living in Connecticut, around 1600 miles if that helps. I’ve visited her a couple times and whenever she would come to the hotel I’m staying at or go home late from being with me she always replaces my name with her best friend for anything that happened. For Example, if we went to the mall she would say, “me and (blank) went to the mall to find new pants”. I’m not sure how I should feel about this because my family knows about her while hers doesn’t and I have bad anxiety and mild depression so this doesn’t really help with me thinking “why is she hiding me from them, what’s our future gonna look like, etc”. I’ve had this thought a good amount of time but I haven’t told anyone about what I’ve been thinking so I thought what’s better than coming from ppl who might have had this same/similar issue, maybe it’s me, maybe it’s a culture thing, idk but I came here looking for some outside wisdom from this community to help me out, thank you for reading this if you’ve made it this far and I hope you guys can help out as best as you can in the comments. Again thank you.
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